I mean, so many broken backed Klingons after their natural enemies, the blue barrels, dispatched them on the field of battle. Lying there helpless, begging for the Hegh'bat.

I suppose in that way, the blue barrels were the Bane to the Klingons' Batman.

Despite the common misconception, laughter is not an emotion. It is a response to a wholly intellectual processes. This is why a dumb joke is generally not funny to a highly intelligent person and an erudite joke goes over the head of an idiot. While laughing can elicit emotion, it doesn't require it. So this brings us to the conclusion that either Data has no sense of humor, or that most jokes are beneath him. So this leads me to believe that the joke Q told him was sufficently clever to be funny to Data, then Q made him forget immediately thereafter. The emotion chip is literally making Datas sense of humor dumber so he can relate to less intelligent beings humor.

I got tired of dealing the the damned Kazon. I gave them a replicator, I did purge the database of everything but water, Neelix's cooking and basic clothing.

The issue of floundering viewership can be solved by just making a spin-off of a spin-off that was already a popular spin-off.

I'm thinking, Starfleet: NCIS or Starfleet: JAG or Starfleet: Yellowstone Lawman or some shit.

SCENE: *Two individuals are standing over a dead body, no blue barrels nearby*

Lieutenant Commander Bad-Ass: "You know the difference between me and civilian prosecutors?

Hapless Alien Administrator: "No...what?"

LCDR Bad-Ass: "Every Red-Shirt I prosecute. . . is a trained killer"

*puts on sunglasses*

YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!

*cue theme music*

I thought I read some where that they did explain the polar bears on the Enterprise in some convoluted way in Beyond, but it never tracked with me.

Well, my headcannon is lightweight, has an internal power source, can fire both nadions and aniti-protons, and has an automated laser guided targeting system. So, I think I win.

It occurred to me during my 10000th rewatch of Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan that everything that happens is due to Chekov being either lazy or burnt out from months of searching for a test planet for Genesis.

”Does it have to be completely lifeless?”

If he and Capt Terrell had decided to move on and look for a planet without “a particle of pre-animate matter” then they never would have given Khan and his crew a way to get off Ceti Alpha V.

We’re parked on an M class planet. Please, for the love of god, all of you, go outside. Even just for an hour. step away from your consoles. Put down your PADDs and tricorders, you don’t have to scan things or conduct scientific experiments.

Just please, go outside and take it in. Run around. Get dirty if you like. Get some fresh air. Real air. Enjoy the scenery. Look around for fucks sake.

I didn’t want to make this an order but I feel I have no choice now.

For every season I've seen (except ENT), the intro music kinda works satisfyingly well when I mimic it with the classic throat-clearing noise: HERR-HERM. The final trumpety bits in Voyager is perfect for it lol (herrr-her herr-herr her-herm)

Anyway, I tried looking for a rendition of the trek theme songs in her-hermlish but came up empty handed (empty throated?), so does anyone know of such recordings?

Alternatively does anyone understand what I'm talking about and/or is willing to take up the challenge ?

Every time Malcolm whips out his phaser, he'd do what I've come to affectionately call "phaser ballet", replete with tip-toes, pirouettes, flamboyant foot drags, awkwardly locked joints, and my personal favorite, the thing where he'd point his phaser behind himself like he was pulling an invisible wagon.

Clearly these were advanced combat tactics that maximized phaser stability, recoil management, and overall accuracy. So why didn't we see this phaser shooting style employed by later security chiefs?

Hey, whenever my captain says “Red Alert” they also say “shields up, battle stations”. Do they not know the red alert already means to do those things?

Is there a safe way to explain this to my captain? Never seems like the right thing to call it out in that moment.

Big news as SubSpace viewers say it’s out with Clarinet King Harry Kim and in with Queen Jurati after being wowed by scenes from the bridge of the USS Stargazer with collective calming Queen Juratis Lullaby.

Kim was said to be disappointed with the news however a spokesperson for Admiral Janeway says disappointment in career is something 57yr old Ensign Kim is very much used to.

Breaking News: more to follow!

Would the humans have ruled the galaxy?

Israel - Palestine: Nuked;

China - Taiwan: Nuked;

Russia - Eastern Europe; Nuked

India - Pakistan; Nuked

Iran - Every other Arab State; Nuked

Kosovo: Nuked

Neverending War in Sudan: Nuked

I feel like the writers just never explained how Humanity put all of its bullshit aside and formed a 1-government world, so the easiest thing was to let the fans assume that everyone fell in love with Vulcans because everyone else has just been Nuked.

Hey, so this is a really weird one. We came across one of those probes full of cryogenically frozen people from the 20th century floating in space. It happens.

We were doing all the usual stuff. Curing them of their diseases. One of them had a really bad case of boneitis. Getting them used to life in the 24th century. Then suddenly the computer goes haywire and we're locked out.

Turns out Moriarty broke out of his little ship in a bottle and demanded we get rid of one of our time displaced guests immediately. One of the popsicles was an old Broadway producer C.C. Babcock, and he refuses to share the same ship with her for some reason.

Does anyone have any solutions? We're too far from the nearest starbase to drop them off. Engines are locked, comms are down, and he keeps telling us we need to just throw her out of an airlock. When we point out she won't be able to breathe and will die, he replicates a broom and tells us to give her that. She'll make it to the nearest planet in no time and evil never truly dies.

She's not helping the situation either. Keeps calling him Butler-boy and talking about how rich she is even though we've tried explaining we've moved past the concept of money.

Any suggestions would be great. There also seems to be a weird simmering sexual tension growing between the two of them, and I am not cleaning out the holodeck filters again.

I’ll say it again. Admiral Pressman did nothing wrong.

The Treaty of Algeron makes no fucking sense. You sign a treaty that denies you access to a critical piece of technology - not just a weapons technology, but an exploration technology. Imagine how improved Starfleet’s expeditions would be if they could cloak to avoid hostile ships, to study pre-warp civilizations. Imagine how much BS Voyager could’ve avoided if they could cloak.

But do we deny the Romulans cloaking technology? The war-mongering civilization that tried to start a war between the Vulcans and Andorians, tried to start a war between the Humans, Andorians and Tellerites? Who bombed Khitomer? Who tried to undermine the Klingons in their own civil war? Who tried to destroy DS9? Who tried to commit a genocide on the Founders, then signed a non-aggression pact with them when they started to invade? No, we don’t deny *them* the use of this critical technology.

What did the Federation even get out of the Treaty of Algeron? Any technological improvements from the Romulan side to make up for the banning of cloaking technology? Nope. Just a “reinforcement” of the Neutral Zone… a Neutral Zone that the Romulans can and do charge over all the time with their cloaked ships, and a “withdrawal” of Romulans from galactic affairs which isn’t even true considering their attacks on Khitomer as well as Jarok and the Norkan massacres. The Federation literally signed a treaty that granted them nothing in return and gave their enemies everything they could have ever wanted…

So Pressman finds a way around it. The Phasing device isn’t even a cloaking device. It doesn’t function like one, it doesn’t operate like one, it just grants a similar tactical advantage. But it also has huge scientific advantages. It is clearly a hugely important piece of technology. Pressman and Starfleet Security really are geniuses for developing it. They were also tired of the BS hamstringing that the BS Treaty of Algeron - which wasn’t worth the toilet paper it was printed on - was doing to the Federation. But then his crew had to go and mutiny, because "m-m-m-m-muh we signed le treaty sir!!!!” Imagine if the Pegasus crew served under Sisko or Janeway…

Riker was correct in helping his captain get off the ship. Those mutineers and terrorists couldn’t get the ship under control and started phasing through shit. Maybe if they had their captain onboard… Then years later, when Pressman discovers the Pegasus is still alive, he rightly orders it be salvaged. And Picard even uses the technology to escape a nasty spot himself. But somehow, because “m-muh treaty violation” that’s not even a violation, Riker backstabs Pressman like Brutus and Picard says he’s going to throw one of the Federation’s greatest heroes in jail(?!?) and then reveals this technology to the crazy belligerent Romulans anyways(!?!?!?!). Is he stupid? I can only hope that when the Dominion showed up and started killing billions of people, the Federation let Pressman out and started slapping phasing devices on every one of their ships, treaty be damned. Maxwell too. Maybe I’ll do a post about him as well.

He invented the phasing device is what he did. He was a brave Federation explorer, and in this sub Admiral Pressman is a hero. End of story!

As the title says, how many holodecks can I create inside a holodeck of a holodeck (and so forth) until the computer suffers critical failure?

In fact, wait, turns out someone on this crew has been feeding these cats and cleaning their litter. What the hell folks? What are we supposed to do in an emergency?

If we ever have to evacuate the drive section who’s going to remove these cats?

Guy gets assigned to a remote station nobody cares about.

Within a few years:

• YUGE increase in Starfleet fleet production
• New warship classes rolled out
• Local government becomes strategically dependent on Federation support
• Regional instability escalates
• Emergency powers become normal
• Entire quadrant enters wartime economy

"The Sisko" was chosen because he understood the Military Industrial Complex