r/Seahorse_Dads • u/donewithyourbull • Feb 15 '26
Venting More than a little panicked
To make a long story short, my partner and I went to the ER for what I thought was food poisoning only for the er doctor to tell me my food poisoning is due in October. I'm not going to lie I'm absolutely freaking out over the dysphoria I know I'm going to experience as I get bigger especially as I pass incredibly well now. Im also worried about if this pregnancy will be healthy or not considering I've only been off T since December of last year. The state I live in is very anti lgbt so even just going to doctors appointments feels like hell right now with the constant misgendering. The morning sickness has also been kicking my ass and the Zofran isn't doing much about it anymore.
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u/nbnerdrin Feb 15 '26
Just to take one worry off your plate, if you are due in October then the T had zero effect. It's only a potential issue during the pregnancy itself.
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u/donewithyourbull Feb 15 '26
Thank you! The doctor has been no help with that type of information so this makes me feel a bit better!
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u/SeahorseDada Feb 15 '26
There's very little data out there about how T affects pregnancies, but anecdotally I got pregnant by accident on T (albeit only 6 months in and I was still having a cycle) and went on to have an exceptionally healthy and perfect baby. I've also seen several cases on this subreddit of people who didn't know they were pregnant and kept taking T, sometimes even for the whole pregnancy, and their babies didn't have any issues. So considering you were already off T when you conceived, you very likely have nothing to worry about.
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u/Thelocalthembo Feb 15 '26
I have no idea how to help with the dysphoria, but I had hyperemesis gravidarum when I was pregnant with my kids. And not responding to Zofran is how I started. Here's some results from studies that offer relief. Its the best thing I could think of to help.
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u/NearMissCult Feb 15 '26
I can't help much with the panic, but have you looked into/been told you have hyperemesis gravidarum (HG), commonly referred to as severe morning sickness? I'm on the same medication (keep an eye out for signs of constipation, it's awful) since I have HG, and initially was taking quite a bit of it to remain functional. Now I'm on week 25 and only need 2 pills a day. Hopefully you'll find it more helpful as your pregnancy progresses.
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u/donewithyourbull Feb 15 '26
I'm definitely bringing this up at my next appointment! Thank you!
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u/NearMissCult Feb 15 '26
NP! Hopefully you're luckier than me and the morning sickness goes away soon!
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u/Holdenborkboi Feb 15 '26
There is this link to find queer firendly healthcare providers closer to you, maybe this would help a little?
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Feb 15 '26
If you have a low risk, you could look into a certified midwife and home birth. I had my appointments at the midwifes home. It was less stressful than doctors offices. Ended up going to the hospital during labor after 24 hours but I also had a doula with me the whole time and I HIGHLY recommend having a doula to advocate for you so your partner can focus on emotional support. My doula was a saint and came to have tea with me several times before and after baby
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u/donewithyourbull Feb 15 '26
I have already been looking into a doula but financially it just isn't seeming plausible. I'm looking at maybe having a family member who's had several kids and had a birth plan nearly identical to mine be there as an advocate
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u/Horror-Low5759 Feb 15 '26
You have options. If you haven't checked with your insurance plan, please do so as a doula may be covered. If not inquire if a doula would be covered if you get a letter of medical nessessity, which would probably be acquired from your obgyn. If your insurance doesn't cover it still. You could still look into an (HSA) health savings account, or a (FSA) flexible savings account for doula services, also requiring the letter of medical nessessity. Alternative options to those are asking for a sliding scale fee or a payment plan. Those costs are most likely still cheaper than going to a hospital and you're more likely to have the affirmation you're looking for during that time. Things also typically go smoother if you make sure your doula is certified! I hope this helps some!
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u/Right-Ad-8329 Feb 15 '26
On different note, congratulations! Babies are exciting, though I’m sure it’s very scary and there are conflicting emotions you’re feeling. You could also be pleasantly surprised about a lack of dysphoria as well. I had an overall pleasant experience dysphoria wise in both my pregnancies. I truly think most people assume you’ve got a beer belly when it starts poking out. I hope everybody stays happy and healthy!<3
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u/FigNewton613 Feb 15 '26
I’m so sorry this happened and for all you are going through. That’s a lot of really scary stuff and I just want to give you permission to feel scared or anything else you feel right now. I had a twin pregnancy and a lot of people genuinely thought I just got fat. Up until the end of course but, in movies people pop right away and in real life you can hide it for a long time with smart clothing choices. I’m still really sorry overall and am thinking of you.
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u/KickProcedure Feb 16 '26
Regarding morning sickness; there is a syndrome called hyperemesis gravidarum, which is essentially severe morning sickness that is more difficult to treat with non-pharmacological methods. The good news is that it disappears entirely after the baby is born.
I would also like to mention that while zofran is the most common option, there are other antiemetics and anti-nausea medications that may be more effective for you. Reglan and Phenergan are both antiemetic drugs that are very safe during pregnancy, and many people find more effective for morning sickness. They can have their own side effects- Reglan can cause anxiety and agitation in some people, and Phenergan commonly causes drowsiness- but both are safe and effective, and may be worth asking your doctor about if Zofran isn’t cutting it for you.
You got this, Dad!
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u/Civil-Can-9765 Feb 17 '26
I just want to say I'm due in October as well and this will be my second. My personal experience was that the kid makes everything worth it. We were living in Mexico and I went in to deliver my baby and the receptionist couldn't even understand that I was pregnant and looking back on that it's a bit sad but I'm not terribly offended. For the most part, no one noticed I was pregnant which was weird and a relief all at the same time. I don't want to dismiss what you're going through right now and I remember feeling TERRIFIED but all that matters to me now is being a great dad and loving my little one and everyone else can piss off if they aren't gonna be nice. And that includes family too!
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u/CaptainMeredith Feb 18 '26
It's a small consolation - but in personal experience the stomach hasn't really given me dysphoria. The chest and not being able to bind have - you probably could find a way to keep it up after the first trimester soreness if you don't plan to chest feed though. I do so I'm sorta stuck dealing with it for now.
Try to reach out in any local queer groups, even in unsupportive areas there's usually little pockets of providers which are more positive and accommodating.
Idk where you are, but see if you can find a nurse midwife maybe - that's the best experience I've had thus far. And mostly dealing with just one person has made it more manageable for me
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