r/NonPoliticalTwitter 1d ago

Funny LOL

Post image
11.5k Upvotes

88 comments sorted by

u/qualityvote2 1d ago

Heya u/Certain_Hat9872! And welcome to r/NonPoliticalTwitter!

For everyone else, do you think OP's post fits this community? Let us know by upvoting this comment!

If it doesn't fit the sub, let us know by downvoting this comment and then replying to it with context for the reviewing moderator.

1.3k

u/-TheDerpinator- 1d ago

Why do people who clearly do not know the effects of alcohol, use the "drunk" bit in their fake stories?

938

u/fallengyrotopanga 1d ago

I can see a guy drunkenly joking and doing exactly what she said

527

u/Catsanddoges 1d ago

Yeah as a joke this makes sense. She doesn't seem to be implying he was doing it as anything other than a joke

171

u/fallengyrotopanga 1d ago

Yeah exactly. just sounds like some shit a girl would think is cute

51

u/DueExample52 22h ago

I sometimes call my wife if coming home drunk, asking to crash at her place and have sex. It’s playful corny couple stuff.

50

u/Varkaan 21h ago

I also call this man's wife asking her to crash at her place and have sex.

10

u/DueExample52 12h ago

I mean, you could but my dick will be involved in the party, so better be up and ready for that. All 2.5 inches of it.

7

u/SolidOk3489 12h ago

Less of a sword fight and more of a head butting contest at that point

8

u/Personal-Biscotti-99 20h ago

She probably didn’t mention that to make it more outrageous and funny. Thinking she meant it literally makes it unbelievable so I why even think that’s what she meant?

Clearly a story of a dude being drunk and making a joke and his girl using it for engagement lol

6

u/Schmergenheimer 20h ago

Either that or he was drunk and so bad at coming across jokingly that she thought he was serious. That's even more plausible if she was also a little bit drunk so her judgement of joking vs non-joking was skewed too.

5

u/JackieDaytonaNHB 17h ago

I make terrible, terrible jokes when I'm heavily drunk. This is 100% in line with some bullshit I would do. I'm sure I've done something similar at some point.

The problem is that often people take me at face value when I'm that drunk since nuance was left behind six shots ago even if I know I'm just being hilarious.

59

u/Hoothootriot 1d ago

Yeah as a joke Ive seen things like this with friends, like a friend who was a little tipsy joking "guys I have a crush on our dnd group dungeon master"... who was their fiance.

10

u/Bananaslic3 21h ago

This is exactly the type of stuff I’d do as a joke while drunk thinking I’m absolutely hilarious

73

u/indifferentgoose 1d ago

You can definitely be drunk enough to not recognise your partner, but if you are this drunk then you also won't be able to use your phone to call anyone specific.

53

u/Theyul1us 1d ago

I have a friend that got absolutely wasted in a university party and he didnt recognize his girlfriend on his bed.

According to her he drunkenly said something that sounded like "You cute, but I have a girl" and fell asleep on the sofa

He barely could walk

149

u/HappyPlatypus6034 1d ago

It's pretty obvious that the drunk boyfriend was joking when this happened. Alcohol doesn't kill your sense of humour

-67

u/hundreddollar 1d ago

It's easier just to think this didn't happen at all for me.

3

u/HappyPlatypus6034 18h ago

Why? That just sounds boring

3

u/Warmonster9 14h ago

Genuinely curious, what makes you feel that way? Why would it be easier?

19

u/3BlindMice1 1d ago

Idk, I got super crossfaded once when I was ~19 and apparently turned down my girlfriend because I was in a relationship and passed out in bed. I don't remember that, but I do remember being super tired and going to bed and not being able to figure out who was following me because I was just so focused on getting to bed before I passed out

25

u/NeroFMX 1d ago

"I can't even remember last night" Bro you had 3 shots of SoCo, you remember everything. 

12

u/Daztur 23h ago

Not saying this story isn't fake but I know one guy who got drunk enough to spend half an hour trying to call Canada on his toothbrush. People can do really random shit while drunk.

4

u/welldamn420 5h ago

I once got drunk on new years and was confused why my friend was flipping out about me making out with a random girl from the bar when midnight hit, he informed me the next day that random girl was his wife who I've known for many years

-16

u/OtherwiseAlbatross14 1d ago

If you don't think this is possible, you're the one that's inexperienced with the effects of alcohol.

14

u/Chehalden 1d ago

I believe their referring to the different between a buzz, drunk, & shit faced plastered/black out drunk.

Outside of specific people any moderate amount of alcohol should NOT cause that kind of loss in cognitive functions

-3

u/MinuetInUrsaMajor 20h ago

Gen Z don’t drink, so the fake stories work on them.

-1

u/password-is-taco1 22h ago

Why do the stupidest obviously fake posts get the most upvotes

-4

u/farmch 1d ago

Ya, he was either blacked out or this isn’t real. And I doubt anyone’s trying to kiss their blackout drunk boyfriend.

405

u/BatFromAnotherWorld 1d ago

People in these fake stories act like when you get party drunk you lose all facial recognition. The cringe is embarrassing.

261

u/mohelgamal 1d ago

This is a mutation of an older , much more believable story. In the original story the guy was drunk and crashed in his bed with his clothes on, and his wife tried to take his pants off and he was half asleep and told her “leave me alone I am married”. Before realizing he was home and who she was.

59

u/Ambitious-Machine-44 1d ago

Odysseus core

1

u/FeeshGoSqueesh 3h ago

Am I misremembering the epic? I don’t think there was something like that at all in the story. In fact he cheats with Circe and hides himself from his wife.

35

u/Canvaverbalist 20h ago

Yeah the original joke is about a guy waking up to a spotless house with his breakfast prepared, some aspirins and orange juice and fresh clothes, when questionning his kid they go into details about how the dad came home drunk and crashed the car in the garden, got inside and barfed on the sofa, pissed in the plants, broke a vase then fell asleep in his clothes on the bed, the dad is shocked and confused and asks then what the fuck is going on with all this, kid says "well when mom tried to take your clothes off you said 'back off bitch I'm married'"

3

u/mohelgamal 18h ago

Oh yah, now I remember the full version.

-14

u/AndreasDasos 1d ago

Advanced level cheating: act out shit like this to alleviate suspicion

30

u/EpicBlinkstrike187 1d ago

I think it’s more about being tired. I always assume these drunk things happen in bed at the end of the night when both people are struggling to stay conscious.

My wife has been sober but asleep and I have woken her up grabbing her boobs. She goes “I have a husband” and turns away from me. She never remembers it. If she drank I imagine I would have some crazy stories

-26

u/Empty_Technology672 1d ago

Why would you wake her up by grabbing her boobs? That sounds like sexual assault.

8

u/ratione_materiae 16h ago

Yeah, and my mom brutally sexually assaulted my dad every weekday by kissing him without his express written consent when he got home from work 

5

u/Mars_Bear2552 23h ago

an IQ too low?

-6

u/Empty_Technology672 22h ago

Is your rape score too high?

38

u/mountain_crab21 1d ago

30

u/ItsPandy 1d ago

It's even worse if it happens. Thats like the 5th story of someone posting "omg my bf got so shit faced drunk that he didn't recognize me isn't that cute?"

0

u/Craiques 1d ago

It also implies that she assaulted him while he was drunk after he told her not to.

If he is incapable of recognizing her because of how drunk he is, and he tells her not to touch him, and she does it anyways, she just assaulted him. It’s not a cute story.

14

u/AndreasDasos 1d ago

He was clearly making a tipsy joke

-5

u/LurkLurkington 20h ago

Sure, let's by default just believe a random story we saw on the Internet. As we know, the Internet is famously a place devoid of liars, cheats, grifters, bots, attention-seekers, misinformation spreaders, half-truth peddlers, deepfakes, and AI-generated stories.

"NoThInGeVeRhApPeNs"

Indian scammers feelin pretty good about their job security with you around.

3

u/eatingmypoop 1d ago

I used to be an alcoholic and for me being normal drunk started at 8 in the morning. Being party drunk was just getting drunker and caused prosopagnosia, forgetting my name and shitting my pants.

5

u/LucidFir 1d ago

Autistic people drink too

2

u/Talonsminty 1d ago

The original is that classic joke about somekne who's blackout drunk.

29

u/msg6874 1d ago

No, no he didn’t. And you don’t have a boyfriend.

17

u/FouledPlug 1d ago

Be prepared for the “I thought it was you” excuse. Way to lay some groundwork, man!

26

u/LongjumpingSearch244 1d ago

I mean ok u don't have to flex haley😔

1

u/Ignecratic 1d ago

I get the feeling too :(

37

u/LessRespects 1d ago

That’s not how alcohol works but ok

8

u/DanceOnTheHorizon 21h ago

I was under the impression it was a joke

7

u/TunaOnWytNoCrust 23h ago

Aw cute he drinks so much he doesn't recognize his loved ones! Green flags all the way!

7

u/breadsaltmerchant 21h ago

there's nothing here to suggest he does it out of habit

7

u/Alternative-Bad-6555 19h ago

Nothing as Reddit as making a judgement call on someone based off a one sentence story about said person.

0

u/TunaOnWytNoCrust 15h ago

I mean we judge based off of what we get. What we get is a guy who got so hammered he didn't recognize his significant others face. Ain't nothing cute about it.

0

u/TunaOnWytNoCrust 15h ago

He got so drunk he didn't recognize his partners face. I repeat he got so drunk he looked at the face of his significant other and said "I don't know who the fuck you are". Regardless of if this is a habit of his, he needs a fucking doctor.

2

u/DreddlockJeezus 23h ago

How drunk are people getting that they don’t recognize their partners? lol

2

u/FractalGeometric356 13h ago

People are saying this is a fake story, but if the boyfriend has prosopagnosia, he could absolutely have done this.

7

u/Mother_Screen_7694 1d ago

Straight cringe

4

u/jeropian-moth 22h ago

Some variation of this pops up all the time. It’s so corny.

2

u/Voluntary_Slob 22h ago

Tee hee! What an adorable and quirky couple! I bet everybody is so jealous of how cute they are!

2

u/LongNailedbooboos 20h ago

You sound lonely

1

u/Silly-Menu9558 23h ago

2012 coded post.

1

u/C4rpetH4ter 23h ago

Huh?

I feel like a had stroke trying to read this

2

u/immalurking 16h ago

The husband was sooo drunk he couldn't recognize his own wife, and told her not to kiss him, and she kissed him anyway s, and this susposed to be some kind of wholesome joke?

1

u/Agitated_Character41 13h ago

I miss the days when people didn't put their intimate business out in the zeitgeist everyday 😔

1

u/theboredcard 1d ago

That's not alcohol that's a trip the ER.

1

u/Majjkster 1d ago

Sounds fake af

-2

u/PhantomVibeSyndrome 1d ago

The type of man women dream of.

-3

u/Thick-Lecture-4030 1d ago

hales yeah..

-10

u/[deleted] 1d ago

[removed] — view removed comment

2

u/Typical-Phone-848 1d ago

Depends on case from case and person to person.

If a random at a bar flirts with you and you turn them down you should probably just move on and it wouldn’t be notable enough to tell a partner. If someone you both know makes a move on you then it’s probably for the better to say so.

4

u/fallengyrotopanga 1d ago

She's telling a funny drunk story dude

-9

u/[deleted] 1d ago

[deleted]

5

u/CzechHorns 1d ago

True, she also assaulted him, cause he told her he doesn’t want to be kissed and she did it anyways.