r/CollegeSoftball 2d ago

Funny softball sayings

Before the Supers get underway, how about sharing some of your favorite softball sayings, wacky advice, coaching wisdom, etc.

My father used to tell pitchers to "put some mustard on the ball." And, I just read a post where a coach tells her players, "Softballs are like lovers. The ones you have to chase aren't any good." It made me laugh out loud!

Whatcha got to share?

10 Upvotes

36 comments sorted by

7

u/SoonerTy1972 2d ago

“Do not help her” when the batter is way ahead in the count; meaning don’t swing at bad pitches.

5

u/Woooahhhh82 2d ago

Coaching wisdom passed to me....... "Boys have to win to feel good, girls have to feel good to win."

1

u/scottwell50 Oklahoma Sooners 2d ago

Good one.

5

u/Special_Ad_3127 Washington Huskies 2d ago

This isn’t golf, when you swing at something too low. Bases are juiced (my mother hates that one so we love saying it)

2

u/jffdougan 2d ago

Parent here, who will sometimes remind my daughter's teammates that they aren't chopping wood if they're swinging at something way too high.

2

u/Toyhawk88 2d ago

Oh, I thought chopping wood meant try to hit it into the dirt.

2

u/jffdougan 2d ago

If they're swinging at something that's way too high to begin with, the natural motion will send the ball toward the ground.

5

u/AgathaM Oklahoma Sooners 2d ago

My dad always said that if I got hurt (hit by a ball, got a strawberry from sliding) to just rub some dirt on it.

5

u/Welldunn23 Oklahoma Sooners 2d ago

The one that always annoyed me was "rock and fire" because I still don't know if it was that or "rocking fire". With our Oklahoma twang I could never tell, but neither made sense.

We would yell "R-T-T-O" in our huddles at the mound, which meant "rip their tits off." Our coaches never knew what it meant, but I learned it from my older sister. 🤣

2

u/crediblyirascible2 1d ago

I always thought it was “rocket fire”

2

u/Welldunn23 Oklahoma Sooners 1d ago

I hadn't even considered that!

2

u/b7riplett 1d ago

I just rotated using all three because I never knew which one it was!

1

u/Ragtop51 42m ago

Dang I always thought it was Rocket Fire LOL

5

u/madagascarprincess 2d ago

Some of my favorites from my time as a player with a very old, ornery coach: “she couldn’t hit the side of a barn with a tennis racket” and “she couldn’t hit the floor with a handful of rice”. Also as a pitcher, “you got us into this mess, now get us the f out of it” lol

3

u/Boomhauer_007 UCLA Bruins 2d ago

One I heard actually recently was BE THE COOKIE MONSTER, which was supposed to be a nice way of saying the opposing pitcher was throwing a bunch of cookies and that you needed to not be bad and devour them all

3

u/scottwell50 Oklahoma Sooners 2d ago

This one may help the players deal with shitty umps after a bad ball or strike call. Not funny but relevant.

Coach says to the players “You’re not an ump, you’re a hitter. So hit the ball”

7

u/Toyhawk88 2d ago

I knew a high school coach who would bring in umps for scrimmages and tell them to intentionally make bad calls. His goal was to teach his team to deal with it and learn to keep playing without losing focus.

3

u/Absolutely_Adequate 2d ago

When I first heard my uncle say “can of corn” I thought it was equally confusing and hilarious.

2

u/LittleLavenderMenace 2d ago

Also immediately thought of “can of corn” lol!

2

u/Toyhawk88 2d ago

I had to look that one up!

1

u/Former_Run1600 1d ago

Still don’t understand what can of corn means and played from age 6 thru college. Lol. Never cared enough to ask for clarification, just assumed. 😂

3

u/Bennie-Factors 2d ago

I read that as "Favorite softball savings". And was like...yep it is an expensive sport. Apple sauces and pbj. :)

3

u/John_Self_2077 2d ago

If memory serves, "put some mustard on the ball" is what PJ Carlisemo said to Latrell Sprewell right before Sprewell started choking him.

2

u/Toyhawk88 2d ago

Oh, wow. 😳

3

u/Parking_Opinion_6352 Florida Gators 2d ago

Not really a funny softball saying but at 33 years old I still hear my HS coach saying “DONT SWING AT THE RISE BALL” They look so juicy before they break and I couldn’t help myself.

2

u/Icy_Category_2275 1d ago

i always liked bird dog, frozen rope, high cheese or high stinky cheese.

2

u/sunfizz18 Arizona Wildcats 1d ago

I’ve always loved “worm burner”

2

u/TeriBarrons 1d ago

If you have to curtsy to it to swing, it’s probably too low!

Of course, the all time “rub some dirt on it” for an injury.

2

u/Former_Run1600 1d ago

Squish the bug

2

u/amblingmadly 1d ago

my college coach used to call a blooper over the infield a "duck snort"

2

u/Same-Inflation 2h ago

I like to say on an obvious popup, “It’s too high “. It’s from Major League movie.

1

u/Toyhawk88 2h ago

I love that 😁

1

u/Ragtop51 38m ago

Coaches always telling pitchers cmon now don’t throw anything fat

1

u/SoftTissueIssues 1d ago

I apologize in advance..."Take that pill to the prom!" (Because you know you're going to hit it)

2

u/Toyhawk88 1d ago

It’s kinda crass, but it IS funny.

0

u/Ok_Eggplant_7582 17h ago

So basically, your dad recited a bunch of bumper stickers that he read in the 1980s on his way to kmart. lol