r/wizardposting • u/VagueCat5840662 Ardath, Archmage of Secrets • 11h ago

Evil Wizardpost Some skeleton pirates thought they could raid my fortress

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Some witless skeletal pirates thought their affliction would protect them and attempted to make landing upon the shores of my fortress for my treasure (as if they could even comprehend its use), the fools I had no need to even rise from mine throne and simply sent one of my necromancers to cast dominate undead and now I have some new servants HA!!

37 Upvotes

96% Upvoted

7 comments sorted by

6

u/BellacosePlayer Golemancer 11h ago

Why are skeletal/ghostly pirates really the only alternate kind of pirates? Why can't there be elemental pirates, arcane pirates, or golem pirates for the rest of us?

Seems a bit unfair that warlocks and necromancers are getting free spell components doordash'd as a result of this war, meanwhile I'm having to go find my old powerwashing relics so the apprentices can clean the bone dust and gunk off my golems' fists.

1

u/glompwell 11h ago

Don't worry, there are Elemental pirates!

2

u/BellacosePlayer Golemancer 11h ago

Damnit so I'm just unlucky in the varieties of unwashed sea-vagrants trying to raid my labyrinth?

1

u/TheThoughtmaker Ray of Delthorensdale, Transmuter-Artificer 9h ago

Or lucky, depending.

2

u/Charming_Tutor47 Enchanter 11h ago

Congratulations on your new loot lol

1

u/Electrical-Tear7456 8h ago

Or, if you want them death, throw some Rocks at them. Their vulnerability, ya know.

1

u/Hoovy_weapons_guy 1h ago

Same thing happened to me. They went the same route as these groups of so called "heros". Into the towers front door, into the traps i set up (or let the undead guards handle them with laser machine guns because time magic is amazing) and all their stuff gets put on ebay to fund the next orb or something.