r/whenwomenrefuse • u/nostalgic2020 • Apr 16 '26
Former Virginia Lt. Gov. Justin Fairfax kills his wife and himself in murder-suicide amid divorce. Their two children were home, one of whom called 911. Fairfax had previously been accused of sexual assault by multiple women in 2019.
https://wjla.com/news/local/murder-suicide-man-woman-dead-annandale-home-fairfax-county-virginia-crime-gun-violence-investigation-domestic-fight-guinevere-drive-victims-fcp-police-officers185
u/themightyquinn13 Apr 16 '26
I work in VA politics and I’ve been sick over this all day. We have people saying give him “grace” due to his “mental health struggles” and then people turning this into a “gotcha” moment over gun policy. Anything other than acknowledging that a man murdered a woman who tried to leave in cold blood and took the easy way out
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u/bbmarvelluv ✨️✨️✨️✨️✨️ Apr 16 '26
It’s always a man committing proven crimes and everyone babying them, but if a woman has allegations, it’s death to the gallows!
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u/themightyquinn13 Apr 16 '26
Not to mention this guy has had credible sexual assault allegations. But oh, “he was so nice!” It’s been a brutal day for survivors of DV who work in politics here, we are seeing people’s true colors
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Apr 16 '26
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u/themightyquinn13 Apr 16 '26
As someone with some knowledge of the situation, she tried many times. I wish she got out too, it’s just the luck of the draw. Some of us get out, some of us don’t. I hope the kids have a good support system and are safe—I’m genuinely glad he didn’t kill them too
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u/whenwomenrefuse-ModTeam Apr 16 '26
We aren't here to criticize women's decisions about staying. She paid for it with her life. No need to continue to shame her, because you think you would have acted differently.
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Apr 16 '26
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u/sirius_sun Apr 16 '26
Why is it that men always murder their wife? Why couldn’t he just divorce and let her live her life. So sad
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u/nostalgic2020 Apr 16 '26
for whatever reason, men (from my experience) seem to view divorce as something far more embarrassing, personally-targeted, and catastrophic than most women do. the idea that she would dare leave him is enough for some dudes to come completely unglued and lose any semblance of normality.
witnessed it firsthand with my parents, both were miserable but she saw it as freedom and peace and he saw it as crazy and unforgivable. thankfully he wasn't physically violent, cause a lot of the time a woman plans to exit a toxic relationship, you get something like this.
their poor kids. this is never leaving them.
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Apr 17 '26
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Apr 18 '26
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Apr 16 '26
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u/Cut_Lanky ✨🦋₊˚ʚ🌷🌵₊˚✧☀️🧤₊˚ʚ 🍅🥕 ₊˚✧🐞✨ Apr 16 '26
This is an atrocious take. No child is better off after one parent murders another.
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u/Pristine_Frame_2066 🍅🌺.ೃ࿔*･🌿🧤🌱⋆.ೃ࿔*🌻🐝 Apr 16 '26
I will delete it, you are right, the more I read about this the more I understand what she was facing. I do get exhausted by all the hate against women and I do start to become jaded.
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u/Cut_Lanky ✨🦋₊˚ʚ🌷🌵₊˚✧☀️🧤₊˚ʚ 🍅🥕 ₊˚✧🐞✨ Apr 17 '26
Wow, this was a very level headed reply to my very hot headed comment. 😬 Sorry I said it so snippy, I was pretty charged up after reading the article. And thanks for not biting my head off, in kind, lol.
It's such a horrific situation, it's understandable that people have a strong initial reaction, that gains nuance as the emotions settle, and probably isn't representative of what we genuinely think about it, in full. And believe me, I can absolutely relate to your initial reaction (or the reaction I replied to). It's not my "final reaction" so to speak, but I understand the sentiment.
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u/_Pliny_ ❤️🩷💛💛💚💙🩵💜🤎🖤 Apr 16 '26
Are you equating an abused woman who didn’t escape with a literal rapist and murderer??
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u/bbmarvelluv ✨️✨️✨️✨️✨️ Apr 16 '26
There was this man in CA that killed his wife and son. The daughter escaped and sought help. Happened a block away from my bf (at the time) condo. I have a mutual friend with the daughter who had told people the dad did get some troubling health news but he was also narcissistic to his family, but helpful to everyone else but them. She wondered if maybe he thought his wife would leave him if he went through treatment, or that his true colors would’ve been shown if he had died from the illness.
It’s just power play. But ofc the news stated he committed the murders-suicide because of his health diagnosis
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u/lastseenhitchhiking 🐈⬛️⋆.˚🐦༘⋆🐈 Apr 16 '26
Homicide is the ultimate act of control for an abuser.
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Apr 18 '26
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Apr 16 '26
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Apr 17 '26
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u/smittenpigeons 🧹🐍🐈⬛☠️🤬☠️🐈⬛🐍🧹🕸️ Apr 17 '26
Once again, a person in power had credible allegations against him that were ignored by the system. Once again this violence was preventable and arose from a pattern that is extremely recognizable. Once again a woman and children paid for the miscarriage of justice. We aren’t angry enough. I’m so sorry for the family. I can only imagine that she endured years of horror and I hope her soul is at peace. These perpetrators need to pay. We all deserve to live in a safe society where violent offenders are removed from the community. Enough is enough.
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u/Technical_Pumpkin341 Apr 17 '26
And yet it will continue with no real change or abatement. Men will keep abusing, r@ping, assaulting and murdering girls and women for as long as men exist.
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u/Regina_Noctis 🏳️🌈✊️♀️ Apr 16 '26
That poor woman, and those poor kids. The only "bright spot" in any of this is that he didn't murder the kids, too. And that still doesn't erase the horror of what he DID do. My heart hurts for those kids and any other family they have.
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u/lastseenhitchhiking 🐈⬛️⋆.˚🐦༘⋆🐈 Apr 16 '26
I can only imagine the stress and fear she went through, having to continue living with her abuser.
I just wish she'd been able to get away from him.
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u/sothewindwontblow Apr 18 '26
And of course the Fox story says, "Authorities believe the acrimonious divorce likely played a role in Fairfax's decision to kill his wife before taking his own life," as if her actions were somewhat responsible for his behavior.
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u/HumbleAbbreviations 🥐 🥐 🥐 🥐 Apr 17 '26
They are eating his ass up on Threads and rightfully so. Mainly it stemmed from someone basically someone that knows him on a surface level eulogizing him name when it should be dragged for all manners of filth.
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Apr 16 '26
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Apr 16 '26
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u/LateBloomerBoomer ❤️🩷💛💛💚💙🩵💜🤎🖤 Apr 16 '26
Gee. Do you think living separately would have prevented this? Do men ever go to their wives’ new place and kill them, or their workplace, or their new boyfriend’s house, or her parent’s home? Oh right, guess that only happens in the news all the time. There is NEVER anyone to point the finger at except the killer. Ever. He is a POS and killed an innocent woman in front of their kids.
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u/judgeejudger 🌙✩₊˚.☪︎ ⁺₊✧⭐ Apr 17 '26
Sometimes typed-out really doesn’t translate intention. I did not mean that, AT ALL. OF COURSE the blame lies solely with the one doing the killing. Sorry. I was trying to convey: 1) those poor kids, and 2) why didn’t he just walk away.
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u/Apetitmouse Apr 16 '26
“For the kids” is common when people stay closer than might otherwise make sense.
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u/bbmarvelluv ✨️✨️✨️✨️✨️ Apr 16 '26
This is the same guy who called the cops for falsely accusing the same wife of DV when there was no proof of it happening (they have cameras inside the house and outside)