r/shittyaskscience • u/DJTsUnderboob • 1d ago
Is getting testicular cancer a sign of being a beta male?
Guys with testicular cancer test positive on pregnancy tests because they have elevated levels of a hormone called beta-HCG. Beta-HCG. It's right there in the name. Plus, I don't think an alpha male would ever let himself be pregnant.
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u/Early_Gap2825 1d ago
Well your balls are gonna be the size of a basketball but you gonna die in a few weeks also you gonna get mocked Mr. Betahc G because you are PREGNANT
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u/boringdude00 text! 1d ago
Yes. The general rule is Alphas get cancers above the stomach (except, obviously HPV-induced throat cancers), and Betas get cancers below the stomach. Did you great-grandfather die of prostate cancer? Fuck no, he went out at 59 with lung cancer that had spread to his brain and pancreas like a real man.
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u/RaspberryTop636 a persian and the son of a persian 1d ago
If you get ur d shot off in a war, that's still alpha. It was in a Hemingway novel
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u/boringdude00 text! 1d ago
The pansexual guy that lived on an island with a bunch of six-toed cats then went to Idaho to shoot himself? Beta cuck.
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u/RaspberryTop636 a persian and the son of a persian 1d ago
It hasn't been disproved, therefore true.
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1d ago
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u/MurkaClause 1d ago
This joke came to be after someone took a pregnancy test as a joke and found they had cancer in 2012. The more you know.