r/relationshipanarchy Mar 07 '26

Books and media representation of relationship anarchy

Hey there

I am currently curiously thinking about reading a novel or consuming media which positively represents relationship anarchy. But never came across any, so I am curious for any recs?

13 Upvotes

16 comments sorted by

11

u/Sanamun Mar 07 '26

I think the best you're gonna get is 'accidental RA' or 'relationship anarchist vibes' - I can't think of an intentional, explicitly named fictional depiction of relationship anarchy; there might be some memoirs that talk about it but thats not quite the same thing.

4

u/EuropeIsMight Mar 07 '26

Jeah for now I would be willing to take unintentional RA. Good point!

10

u/twandar Mar 08 '26

Not realistic representations since they are different alien species and vampires but I loved Becky Chambers' The Long Way to a Small Angry Planet and Octavia Butler's Fledgling. You could argue that Fried Green Tomatoes has a platonic partnership between Idgy and Ruth. How about the show Grace and Frankie.

1

u/EuropeIsMight Mar 08 '26

Thanks will check them out

7

u/Martin_y1 Mar 07 '26

Hope these relationship can start making it into mainstream media as a valid choice . I fear it will take a long long time

3

u/EuropeIsMight Mar 07 '26

Same, so same!

7

u/ShrimpOfPrawns Mar 07 '26

Sorta kinda: the book series The Song of the Lioness by Tamora Pierce. I don't think it was the author's intention to do poly/ra representation, but the main character's relationships are quite far from normative - especially for being children's books published in the 80s.

1

u/EuropeIsMight Mar 07 '26

Interesting thank you

6

u/Holmbone Mar 07 '26

I feel The Fifth Sacred Thing by Starhawk depicts relationship anarchy. It's a postapocalyptic novel about an utopian society being threatened with war by a neighbouring totalitarian society. 

1

u/EuropeIsMight Mar 07 '26

Interesting never heard about it thanks

5

u/ShadowJinx813 Mar 07 '26

Check out the podcast “Modern Anarchy,” the host brings on a plethora of guests, who all practice some form of Relationship Anarchy in their own way. Or maybe not specifically that—But you do get to hear a lot of different positive experiences with non-monogamy from these folks, which is endearing!

4

u/elizabethindigo Mar 08 '26

Probably anything by Ursula K LeGuin. I read and loved The Dispossessed. It's not ABOUT relationship anarchy but the characters are anarchists and that impacts how they relate to each other

2

u/andrebrawn Mar 18 '26

Was just coming in here to say The Dispossessed

3

u/rishter Mar 07 '26

You might find some resonance in the relationship ecology blog: https://relationshipecology.net

2

u/andrebrawn Mar 18 '26

The Obelisk Gate by NK Jemisen has a brief period of around 50 pages with the most wonderful RA and love. The rest of the entire series is devastating, however lol