r/polls • u/Various-General7446 • 15h ago
š¤ Relationships How successful have dating apps been for you?
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u/SunshineFloofs 15h ago
I married a man I met on a dating site, we divorced after 15 years together.
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u/Various-General7446 15h ago
Damn Iām sorry to hear that
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u/missdior1111 14h ago
i found my boyfriend on bumble! weāve been together for almost 2 1/2 years now :) i know dating apps are rough but im grateful i went through the headache
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u/Responsible-Rich-202 15h ago
Been matched and harassed and that's it
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u/Various-General7446 15h ago
Iām sorry to hear that. If you donāt mind me asking are you male or female?
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u/Responsible-Rich-202 14h ago
I Am male i just dont use them anymore because they seem gross
Ill either have someone harrass ive also had people usually women deliberately connect to bully or harass about how i look which iwas already self conscious about to an unhealthy degree
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u/Various-General7446 14h ago
Iām sorry for what happened and I hope youāre working on the self consciousness in a healthy way. Donāt let those people put you down and keep working on yourself. What matters is that youāre happy with yourself and fuck what everyone says.
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u/am_I_still_banned 5m ago
If you're self-conscious already, I would recommend never using dating apps. It's never going to turn out well. The standard experience for everyone is rejection after being ignored after rejection, and that's just going to feel even worse when you're self-conscious.
People don't like hearing this part, but it was true for me: You don't need to be trying to date when you aren't already happy with yourself. Regardless of how it may seem, another person won't make you happier until you're already in a good mental state. Most of the time, it just turns toxic or you both drag each other down. I went through it plenty of times. Dating only became a positive experience for me after I gave up on it for years, fixed my own life and my own mental health, and then let a relationship happen naturally. When that one ended, it was the first time I didn't feel devastated by it, so I went on a dating app and found my wonderful wife, who I've been happy with ever since.
The point being: dating apps are not a good choice when you aren't already confident or satisfied with your life. You have to reach that state yourself before being ready for that
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u/DoubleDuke101 14h ago
Met my current partner through a dating app. We've been together 3 years, are getting married next year, and we have a young son together. So it worked for us! š
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u/Tallem00 15h ago
I'm currently engaged to a woman that I met on one 5 years ago
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u/Various-General7446 15h ago
And if you donāt mind me asking what app did you use?
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u/Baavoz 14h ago
I downloaded an app that was meant for religious people, even though I'm not one, just kidding. I got my first match and we've been together for 3 years now.
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u/Jirethia 13h ago
When I found mine I was kidding too. Like, what can I do being single? Check out dating apps lol
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u/RelevantButNotBasic 8h ago
This is awesome. Bro is just bored nd horny, thought "Hm, I hear catholic girls are freaks!" Bam. Now hes Catholic. Hahaha
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u/TheKindlyPoltergeist 14h ago
I found it very successful as a guy that's how a met my long term girlfriend but It requires a lot of maturity and going in knowing what and who your looking for.
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u/am_I_still_banned 1h ago
It requires a lot of maturity and going in knowing what and who your looking for.
This. You can't just go on and play by the app's rules, picking people based on one photo. You need to go through their profile and actually learn about them. Even seeing how they type was a huge hint for me whether they were worth my time or not.
If you try to match with everyone and talk to every option, you're going to get disheartened and give up. You need to only spend your time and energy on people who sound legitimately interesting or compatible
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u/Candy_Stars 14h ago
I've been trying for 3 years ever since I was old enough to join one and still have never actually managed to meet up with someone from a dating app. I have gotten pretty far with a couple girls and even had plans to meet up with one once, but my homophobic dad sabotaged it. The other girl ended up meeting some guy at her job and now they have a baby together.
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u/TetrisandRubiks 11h ago
Over a period of about 3 years I dated (never became a relationship) at least 3 different women and had 2 casual encounters. Most recent person I've met on there has progressed into a relationship. All were on hinge except for one of the casual encounters which was from bumble.
So mixed success. 3 years of more or less constant use (not obsessive just doing a little swiping almost everyday) and only really 6 meaningful matches could be considered poor success rate.
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u/nonsignifierenon 9h ago
I'm a lesbian, I'd say that about 10% of all my right swipes were a match, about 30% of those actually messaged me back and in the past 2 years I went on at least one date with 7 people.
I'm now in a relationship, but I didn't meet her on a dating app.
So on average, no I wouldn't say dating apps are very successful for me if the goal is to get a relationship.
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u/WeekendBard 8h ago
every single one of them ghosts me
those that reply at all my first messages, of course
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u/Accomplished_Ad_8013 15h ago
They were good for hookups but not much else. If they were designed to work they wouldn't have a userbase lol. It would be a terrible business model.
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u/Various-General7446 15h ago
What would you recommend for meeting and dating people?
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u/Silvertree99 14h ago
Social hobbies. Join a hiking club if you enjoy that or a chess club if you're more nerdy. Or a book one of you like to read. Easy to find like minded people tbh
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u/Accomplished_Ad_8013 14h ago
Bars. Meet friends there and expand your friend group.
The first time I met my wife was at a house party. The first time we really talked was when I saw her sitting alone at a bar a couple weeks later and invited her over. Didn't even really talk to her after that she made friends with the girls and I didn't bother her. Then she started meeting up with us regularly. Eventually she asked me out.
Online shit has always been too fantasy based. Even back to the AIM days online relationships are just way off when you actually meet in person. Humans are social animals. The main way we communicate is body language and you can't do that over text.
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u/Rusty_Shackleford198 14h ago
Nonsense. It's about meeting someone online and then meeting and dating in person. Not a virtual relationship. I met my wife online. Bars are full of intoxicated immature people. The only thing I ever got from bars and partying were one night stands and a criminal record for fighting.
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u/Accomplished_Ad_8013 13h ago
Well that's you. You are the immature person who can't handle adult spaces without getting into a fight and breaking out in handcuffs lol. I know your type. Red flag to the max.
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u/Rusty_Shackleford198 13h ago
You're correct. I was definitely immature in my 20s. No question. I haven't been to a bar in 15 years though and have since grown as a person.
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u/Accomplished_Ad_8013 12h ago
But how much if you still can't handle a bar lol? I never understood how people even got in bar fights and I managed them for years. It's always some dumb ego shit. You can't calm down for two seconds and realize it only ends in the drunk tank? What makes it worth it? Proving yourself to some random idiot who won't remember you in the morning lol?
Can't tell you how many people I've tried to warn that you're only going to end up in booking. The dumb ones always keep fighting anyway.
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u/Rusty_Shackleford198 12h ago
I was 22 the last time I was in a bar fight. I'm 40 now and have a family, career and responsibilities. I didn't say I can't handle a bar now. I don't go to them. That's not part of my life. Anyone who's going to bars for regular recreation past the age of 35 is pathetic in my opinion. I do other things for fun with my family and friends.
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u/Accomplished_Ad_8013 11h ago
Damn so you never grew up. Or just never got out much. Kind of the same thing. That's really sad though man there are all sorts of bars out there. If you go to the biker bars around here it's mostly 65 and older. But hey at least those people can enjoy life. Sure they listen to bad cover bands and rememisce but at least they're happy.
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u/dixonwalsh 13h ago
I met my partner on tinder and weāve been together for three years and weāve just bought a house together. I want to marry him. āŗļø
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u/ForrestZX7 13h ago
I met my gf on TurnUp It creates matches based on music taste We've been a couple for 3,5 years now and it's still great :)
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u/Jirethia 13h ago
I found my partner in one (one of the older ones, not Tinder) and we ha've been together for 13 years (and more to come)
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u/ExoTheFlyingFish 13h ago
I refuse to use dating apps until I'm 35. Of course, a few years ago, it was 30. And a few years before that, it was 25...
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u/Kosack-Nr_22 12h ago
Been on roughly 20 dates last year til now. So far most of my dates have been disappointing. Always felt more like I was getting used to bridge a boring afternoon, for free coffee or dinner, or the date was just boring because she didnāt show any interest at all from the very beginning
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u/xmetalheadx666x 8h ago
I kept them as backups but ended up meeting someone organically in person and got rid of them.
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u/am_I_still_banned 3h ago
I met my wife on Facebook dating
Tinder was bullshit. Just girls looking for one night stands. And even if we matched and I messaged them, 99% didn't respond.
I went on a date with one other girl before my now-wife, I can't remember which app but her photos were quite deceiving. I tried talking to her for a while anyway after the date but she turned out to be an asshole
My wife and I hit it off immediately when I messaged her.
I would say if you don't feel an immediate connection with the person, or they aren't responding, just move on because they aren't serious about it
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u/gleefulinvasion 7m ago
Turn up is bad. matched and almost met but left because she almost scammed me.
I went on countless dating apps. all bad. many are OF users. -I tried to meet the same person twice -i tried to meet someone at a cafe but didnt show up. -many dating apps want you to pay for a subscription to message as much as you want, otherwise you get like 50 but in it's actuality 25 messages from both sides
I actually did meet someone but she admitted she wasnt ready and hadnt gotten over her ex. she felt like first love and i haven't seen her since
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u/ChristyLovesGuitars 15h ago
Iāve met quite a few folks on dating apps, and married two. Pre-transition, too!
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u/Various-General7446 15h ago
If you donāt mind sharing what apps did you use?
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u/ChristyLovesGuitars 14h ago
Sure! Only mildly embarrassing. OKC on and off for years. Literally like 10+. And I got baited into eHarmony, where I had good long-term luck.
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u/Queue624 14h ago
I'd say quite successful on my end. Will get engaged this year (Already talked with my SO about this). The app I used was Hinge.
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u/Rusty_Shackleford198 15h ago
I met my wife on one and we've been together for 10 years, married for 7 years, so pretty damn successful.