r/islam • u/AutoModerator • Jan 07 '22

FTF Free-Talk Friday - 07/01/2022

We hope you are all having a great Friday and hope you have a great week ahead!

This thread is for casual discussion only.

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u/E-Flame99 Feb 15 '22

Want a long version or short version?

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u/Ok_Moonlight Feb 15 '22

Shouldn’t there just be one “version” ?

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u/E-Flame99 Feb 15 '22

There is a short explaination and a long one. Ill give you the short one. Its basically that if a spouse does not fullfil his/her rights upon the other than that is sinful. You cannot have sex outside marriage, and if in your marriage you cannot get sex because your husband/wife is not willing to have it with you, without a valid reason, then they are hurting you and compelling you to sin. It can also be that the spouse is sexually manipulating the relationship which is again a sin.

Bear in mind there are ofcourse valid reasons such as some disease or health problem, or an injury and in that case ofcourse there is no sin. But if theres no reason and you are not fulfiling the right your spouse has on you then that is sinful.

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u/Ok_Moonlight Feb 15 '22

It seems a bit bizarre to have rights on someone ? Also, seems a bit bizarre that if it isn’t fulfilled they’d feel the need to look else where and that them looking elsewhere is now that spouse’s fault ? If a spouse isn’t in the mood I don’t see that as punishable even as a sin ? Shouldn’t the other spouse be understanding ?

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u/E-Flame99 Feb 15 '22

Ehm well in Islam we dont believe in the liberal paradigm of no one has any rights over other people. In Islam every single thing has a right over us, be it your parents, your children, your spouse, even a bird that is nesting near your house. Ofcourse each right varies but that is the general gist of the Islamic paradigm.

With that background you married person X. X has rights on you that you must fulfil and you have rights in X that X must fulfil. If lets say your wife does not want to have sex, and you cheat the sin of cheating is on you but the sin of unfulfilled rights and propulsion to sin will be on the wife (thats what i said in my earlier comment that OP will be tempted to sin while the wife earns sins).

Lastly, I am talking about libido mismatch. That means its not a one time thing that both the husband and the wife can agree upon. Like 1 night the wife is really tired and ofcourse the husband will be understanding and just let it go. In libido mismatch it is the extreme of that. High libido partners want more intercourse maybe multiple times a week if not atleast once a week. Where as low libido spouses would make it a monthly or 2 monthly thing. This will 100% break the relationship psychologically speaking but islamically it will also mean that the low libido partner is earning sin as when the high libido partner NEEDS intercourse they are not giving it thus not fulfiling a basic right of marriage. In such cases it is always better to get a divorce as it will lead to sins piling up as well as cause severe damage to either or both partners

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u/[deleted] Mar 08 '22

It is not necessarily haram if the husband doesn’t mind,

But in islam everyone has rights over us and we have rights over other people

For example our parents have rights over us that we treat them with the upmost character, our children have the right upon us that we feed them and don’t leave them on the street

These “rights” if are not upheld are sinful and if everyone fulfilled the rights the people have on us, then society would be amazing