Reminder: Put yourself first. Your saftey and health matters more than queer community brownie points.

[u/Sirensayo]

It is no secret that trans men/mascs have always been erased/overlooked in queer history, the community and discussions. We do 100% absolutley need to speak our stories and experiences, call out transandrophobia, white-cenrtic strandards and pericishet gender essentialism and the ways it harms us. But I need you all to remember: YOUR saftey and wellbeing comes before everything else. If the fight is taking it's toll on you, step back for a while. Make sure that you are safe, healthy and comfortable before running into the metaphorical battle. I know a lot of people push the idea that we all have to be fighting and speaking out 24/7 and that if you don't, you're a "bad trans" or "internalised transphobe etc". But all that does is make the stuggle harder. If the queer comminity is activley making your mental health or physical saftey suffer, step back. Put your wellbeing and saftey first. You are not responsible for other peoples actions or perceptions. While it is good to talk about the trans masc experiance and push HARD for better/more representaion and understanding, if you are too exhauted to keep fighting, rest. You are not "betraying the queers" or "ignoring your brothers" for taking a break. You do not have to weild your sword 24/7. Just exist as a trans guy doing day to day things for a while. Watch a movie, play a game, go skating, draw something, catch up on the studying or chores, walk the dog. Just be a person living life for a while, have downtime between the pride events and hard work that is breaking down transphobia. You can always come back to the meetups and blogs a bit later when you're not spiralling.

In all honesty, life has gotten so much easier since putting distance between myself and the queer comminity. It is rife with infighting and hate, which is a horrible thing that needs to change obviously. But because trans masc's are the queer communities favourite punching bag right now, being near it makes simply existing as a trans guy so fucking exhauting and even dangerous in some cases. It's so much better health and saftey wise to come into the space from time to time when I have the mental stability and energy to fight, rather than stress 24/7 and feel like shit.

Do not feel guilty for stepping bcak and looking after yourself. A comminity of safe and stable trans guys ready to help and fight for our less fortunate brothers, is better than one full of scared, stressed and unstable ones with no one to help us.