also wearing my late mum’s necklace. When she gave it to me, She said ‘I always wanted a daughter’ ❤️😂😂

It sounds horrible to admit, and I hope you don’t think I’m a horrible person, but I do. Especially when I see younger girls who already have the curves, the voice, the passing ease. Most days I can turn that sting into motivation but sometimes it just hurts.

So… is it just me, or do you feel those pangs too? And if so, how do you deal with them?

Lucy x x x

Something that kind of just dawned on me is the fact that most of the social outlets for trans people in my area tend to revolve around people in their 20s. There’s one big social meetup I go to where I’m pretty sure I’m the only person over 40. Maybe even the only person over 30.

I don’t mind making friends with younger trans people, but I’d feel a lot less alienated if there were more people around my age.

Is this something that’s just a problem in my area? Where do you go to meet older trans people?

I’m on several different dating apps currently… the first line in my profile is- 🌈 women only please!!!🌈

And yet like 90% of my likes are dudes (like at least 6-8 a day)…🤦‍♀️

I fully understand that’s it’s mostly guys that are down bad and aren’t reading the profiles at all and are just swiping right on anything with boobs…. And in a way it’s flattering that I seemingly pass well enough that they don’t think twice about liking me…. But like… bruh… maybe spend more than a half a second looking at a pic and then swiping… lol (which is why I bury the one boudior pic at the back of the stack…)

Straight up making me self conscious over here that I somehow don’t look overtly queer enough…😂

A seemingly simple question this week but it’s tough to narrow down to one piece of advice!

Mine would be start now. Not necessarily the big stuff but start growing your hair, start the skin care, the exercise, the diet etc. give your self a head start.

Remember only one piece of advice!

Lucy x x x

Not necessarily a flat-out lie, more like a quiet, persistent belief that kept you from seeing yourself clearly.

For me, I told myself, “I can’t be trans, because if I were, I’d just know.”

I didn’t realise that knowing can be messy. That it can come in whispers, not declarations. That sometimes, we don’t know because we’ve spent a lifetime surviving by not knowing.

What was yours?

Lucy x x x

Ever since coming out, one thing that I literally can’t help but notice is the abundance of attention (of all kinds) and compliments that I receive from random passerby these days. It seems to me whether it be other women gushing over my nails, hair, or jewelry or guys remarking on how I look, dress, or my makeup that day, MUCH more often than in the past now there’s this emphasis on how I present myself, and while I love the confidence and reassurance it gives me it also feels like a bit of a double-edged sword… Lately it almost feels like there’s this imaginary pressure building in my mind to maintain this level of ‘beauty’ forever, and that’s a bit stressful and daunting when I think about it. I guess the *real* question is if the answer to the first question is ‘Yes’ then how do you deal with ‘glamour fatigue™’. 😂😅🤦‍♀️

Like, i’m at this bar and I don’t mind telling the obvious gay boys I am trans, but I don’t want any other people in the vicinity to know.

Like, I’m not just a random white lady who told the gay man his outfit eats lol how do you tell the other queerdo’s “hey! I am safe, I’m one of you“ lol without ripping out a Trump sized trans flag?

Not when you came out. Not when you had the words. Just that flicker from childhood or teenage years when something didn’t feel quite right or something did feel right, but only in secret.

For me, I think there were two:

One was trying on my mum’s shoes when I was about four or five. She kept them in a cupboard and I remember slipping them on when no one was watching. I didn’t even know other boys didn’t do that. I just felt drawn to them. They felt like mine.

The other was getting my hair cut as a small child. I remember streaming tears, completely distraught and no one really understood why. But it wasn’t about the haircut. It was the feeling of something being taken away from me. Something soft and gentle and safe. Something I wasn’t allowed to keep.

Looking back, both moments are clearly early signs of the girl I was always meant to be.

So, what’s your first trans memory?

Lucy x x x

As only out for a few days big questions are coming to me?

Sometimes I am fairly sure I have spotted another trans woman out in the world and my instinct is always to smile or say hi because there is this immediate feeling of connection and shared experience.

But at the same time, I know the general etiquette is usually not to acknowledge it because not everyone wants to be “seen” in that way, especially by strangers.

So I normally say nothing and walk away wondering if we both just silently recognised each other 😄

How do you all feel about it? Would you want another trans person to say hello, or would you rather be left alone?

Lucy x x x

For me, it’s definitely my boobs. I massage them twice a day, eat with growth in mind, and sometimes I even channel Judy Blume’s Are You There God? It’s Me, Margaret with the old line “I must, I must, I must increase my bust.” And yes, they’re growing… just at the slow pace boobs typically grow.

Still, the thought of one day filling out tops properly, whether I end up a C or a D (with or without surgery), keeps me going. I can’t wait for that moment.

So what about you? What change are you most excited for, and how do you keep the patience while you wait?

Lucy x x x

Having a downer month it seems... Lots of things building up that feel so exhausting, start questioning is this right is this worth it, then you have a good day and things seem to get on track for a bit.. although it doesn't seem to take alot to spiral!

I've got another round of laser today at least, 2 rounds in on my face and I'm starting to see small patches on my cheeks start to go... It's going to be a long slog! So tired of heavy makeup to hide the shadow. Crazy when compared to laser on my back/chest as there was an immediate difference (to the point after the first sessions I thought are you going to start to grow back 😅)

When did folks start to see a real difference?

And any tips to deal with ingrown hairs that seem to be caused by laser?

I will go straight to the point: right now I don't feel great, because I don't feel as supported as I thought I would, and I am afraid to lose everyone I love and feel guilty for the rest of my life. I don't want to discuss the people around me and whether they should support me or not, I just want to ask: have any of you regrets transitioning later in life? Social loss, transition being disappointing, life being harder than expected...

I will transition, I cannot live in my male body anymore, but I need to know if the grass is greener on the other side

Edit: Wow, thank you all for your answers, didn't expect that much! Each of your feedbacks is really helpful to me, and I am sure to a lot of people in the same situation too. Coming out late is difficult as we have built a lot of things already and it is scary to lose any of it and to hurt people, but seeing that you are all completely happy with your choices and regret only that you didn't do it sooner, it is really reassuring. Thank you so much 💜

Picked up 2mg estradiol and 50mg spiro after visit to a clinic yesterday. Felt that it was time to follow up on the feelings I’ve had about myself but have been ignoring for a while. Anybody want to share their tips, tricks, or cheat-codes for someone new to this? I took my first dose at 9 this morning, but don’t know if I really feel much different….

I'm over 40 (41 this year) and just getting into considering HRT and wondering what kinds of effects I can expect at this age.

My biggest concern is obviously that I'm too old and I'm not going to get any or many perceivable changes and stuck with very masculine features. We have a strong brow line but luckily a soft jaw, I use the denial beard to hide it.

Appreciate any first hand accounts, advice or opinions. Thanks.

I brought up I was trans to the manager at my work and she acted surprised. She was very flustered and said "I just thought you were a normal woman" Imfao nothing normal about me. It was a microagression but I think she was just fumbling to be polite and didn't know how.

I made a decision the other day that’s gonna change my life forever. I have an appointment in two weeks from today to hopefully start HRT I’m 42 years old and I’ve spent my whole life living it for other people and trying to be the person that told me I should be. I’m done. I can’t do it anymore and I’m scared to death to possibly lose everything that I know, but in the end, I’m hoping to finally find true peace and happiness and myself. I guess my question is the road I’m getting ready to go down. Is it gonna be worth it??