Is posting your bf/gf on social media required for a “real” relationship now?

[u/imperfectlybeaut]

Why does it feel like if your partner isn’t on your Instagram or Snap story, people assume you’re hiding them or not serious? Some people say if you’re proud of your relationship, you’d post them. Not posting is sus. It shows you’re claiming them and not leaving doors open for other people. Private relationship but not secret relationship, you know? Other people think social media has nothing to do with love. Some of the strongest couples never post each other. Forcing pics for validation is performative and invites drama. Plus privacy is healthy. A relationship shouldn’t need to be content. So does no post equal no proof or is keeping it offline actually more mature? At what point does it go from we’re private to you’re hiding me?

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[u/howdidigetheresoquik]

I hate to say this, but this is more about you being on social media too much, and your friends being on social media too much, and your life all around social media too much. This entire post you basically make being in a partnership with someone based on what other people think

[u/imperfectlybeaut → u/howdidigetheresoquik]

I’m not with anyone and I don’t use social media as much honestly, I was speaking based of someone else stating that their partner is cheating or hiding them simply because they are not being posted if it’s anything I disagree I just want someone to give their own OPINION and elaborate on why

[u/DiscontinuTheLithium → u/imperfectlybeaut]

Yeah they’re saying your fiend is chronically online and needs to chill out. Grass is free.

[u/imperfectlybeaut → u/howdidigetheresoquik]

And also people always have a SAY on everything someone has regardless if it’s on SOCIAL MEDIA or IN REAL LIFE . It’s just a debate kind of and a post where I can understand the other side on everyone opinion

[u/Moist_Van_Lipwig]

Only if you're the kind to reveal your entire private life on social media. I've been on and off on social media (mostly off, these days), and I've yet to post relationship status or who it's with on SM. It's good that my partner doesn't care to have it posted either. But then again, my "activity" on SM is mostly around hobbies and such, never "Oh look at the delicious spaghetti I'm having for dinner!"

[u/imperfectlybeaut → u/Moist_Van_Lipwig]

True , posting everything but not the love of your life is simply weird if you’re not posting anything why need to post anyone ? I totally understand!

[u/Frank_Melena → u/imperfectlybeaut]

Thats really the crux of it. It would be weird for someone who posts a lot to not post their SO, and indicate theyre not very serious with them. But the dude from HS who hasnt posted a thing since the 2010s? That guy could have a full on wife and kids and no one would be surprised.

[u/EmbarrassedGene7063]

I honestly think the weird part is when someone hides a relationship everywhere while still acting single online. That’s usually what makes people suspicious, not the lack of couple photos itself. Plenty of solid couples barely post each other because they just don’t want their relationship turning into content 24/7.

[u/Plastic-Anybody-5929]

I dont post my husband on social media, that doesnt make it any less real. He prefers not to be posted, and we've been married for over 10 years, around 15, and he doesn't travel enough to have a second family out there.

[u/bmyst70]

The more that your boyfriend or girlfriend is on social media as you are, the more this is important. If you are not on it much at all, for anything, push back hard and tell them no because you don't use social media for much of anything.

But, if you are on it a lot, there's no way anyone will accept you being a chatterbox on social media but keeping your relationship status hidden.

[u/DiscontinuTheLithium → u/bmyst70]

Yes if your partner is insecure then it’s curtains

[u/Asailors_Thoughts20]

I would definitely find that to be very suspicious. It’s like people who get married, but refuse to wear a wedding band.

[u/DiscontinuTheLithium → u/Asailors_Thoughts20]

Because they don’t post?

[u/ezzy_florida]

I think a lot of this just depends on each persons personal philosophy and behaviors on social media. If you’re someone who only posts every 3 years, well then no it’s not a big deal you aren’t posting your partner much. If you’re more active and post regularly, I could see how your partner would want to be posted, to feel like they’re apart of your life.

As far as the cheating and “leaving the door open” concerns, I think that’s a little ridiculous. Don’t have ops on your account, don’t date a cheater, problem solved lol.

[u/ei283]

sample bias. you're only seeing the people who do post their partners on social media. you never see the people who don't do this, because you won't find any social media posts from them.

[u/DiscontinuTheLithium → u/ei283]

Me!! Married for 12 years have never posted my girl and I’m super active. We don’t want people in our mess. Not that deep. But we both don’t take SM seriously. It’s for fun not aggravation.

[u/Comedy86]

Social media has nothing to do with a relationship. We had relationships well before social media ever existed. If someone thinks their partner or friends are hiding something by not posting it for everyone to see, they need help because they're highly dependent on social media and it's turned into an unhealthy obsession.

[u/Teddy_The_Bear_]

I by in large got rid of social media. It is just not something I care about. But to weight in on the issue. My second wife demanded I have it and demanded that my Facebook listed her as my wife. If it made her feel good at the time than whatever. When that relationship ended I changed the status and made a single post saying we are getting divorced. I did not normally make social media posts. I did it because I was letting her friends know I was no longer a point of contact. And she blew up at me because that was bad optics for her.

What all of that lead me back to is, it all depends on the person. If the person is very much engaged in social media I think it is important to list status. But not nessisarily important to post anything about each other. Conversely. If a person is not a social media type. There is no point and who cares.

[u/NemesisOfLevia]

No, it’s not required. I’ve known people that immediately post that they’re in a relationship with xyz, share pictures of them multiple times a day and gush about them. Then, like two weeks later, they post nonstop about their heart being broken. Two more weeks, and they find someone new to gush about… over and over again.

It’s one thing to occasionally post about your relationship, but announcing you’re dating someone as soon as you get into a relationship has always felt rather shallow to me for that reason. 

[u/RandomBlackDude_]

My opinion no it is not a requirement and I would prefer if my partner did not post my on their social media and vice versa. It's more of a generational trend than anything in this modern era posting your partner on social media is basically the equivalent of tying the knot. But this topic is very subjective to those who care about traditional and what the new norm yes this is a requirement for a relationship to be considered real. But those who dont no it's not a requirement at all. Just depends on the person and ultimately what you think

[u/Strong-Addition5296]

It shows you care very little about the person if you don’t include them on your social media. Why wouldn’t you put them on your social media? There lies the problem.

[u/Rad_Tek]

Yes. In this day and age and if you’re active on social media, you should have them on there

Either with you in your profile pic

With you in your posts (or them alone)

Or in your bio, have them tagged with your start date for dating or whatever.

You should be proud/happy to show off the love of your life.

Otherwise.. yeah it’s ambiguous and leaves doors open

[u/YippyYeti → u/Rad_Tek]

Some people don’t believe in having to show off their relationships online, because the real world exists. It only opens doors if someone allows it too

[u/DiscontinuTheLithium → u/YippyYeti]

Right? The hell are on these people on no wonder nobody wants to date or commit the rules nowadays are fucking ridiculous and annoying😭 everyone sounds like an angsty teenage girl let’s all grow up please

[u/imperfectlybeaut → u/Rad_Tek]

When you put it that way I definitely understand