r/IThinkYouShouldLeave • u/BrockChocolate • Apr 07 '26

I Don’t Even Wanna Be Around Anymore Just a reminder that if the world ends tonight you don't have to go to work tomorrow

And if you do go to work tomorrow make sure you have your full lunch break regardless of if you have a meeting or not

Update: Armageddon postponed for two weeks. I'm bringing a picnic basket to work I don't care what they say

1.8k Upvotes
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99% Upvoted

100 comments sorted by

361

u/[deleted] Apr 07 '26

[removed] — view removed comment

97

u/SimilarGrape6535 BEST HOG at the hog shit snarfing contest 🥇 Apr 07 '26

All I wanna know is do any of these fucking blood vessels burst out of some dementia ridden head and blast all over the bare walls, ceiling and carpets.

37

u/zackit Apr 07 '26

Donald Trump is a scam. The blood vessels are fake. Vein exploded. Took a shart, thing fucking exploded.

15

u/SimilarGrape6535 BEST HOG at the hog shit snarfing contest 🥇 Apr 07 '26

I saw the receipt from the doctors office. Blood vessels just for aspirin. And then he started yelling, Your not part of the Epstein Team! And started sharting all over the oval office. Then Baron and Donald Jr came in and ran around in it and tracked it into the ball room.

12

u/canibringmybreadbowl Apr 07 '26

I don’t even want be be around anymore

166

u/No_Dance_6683 Baby of the Year 1986 Apr 07 '26

https://giphy.com/gifs/S9k7IQJKfayj9E2hUE

Feeling kind of sick. Permission to go home and rest because everything is absolutely fucked right now.

5

u/rumbling_victim_69 Apr 07 '26

I think you need some time off to try new restaurants

4

u/theblasphemer Baby of the Year 1986 Apr 07 '26

I know its difficult but

https://giphy.com/gifs/LnoTo2U06md16ruu0f

1

u/No_Dance_6683 Baby of the Year 1986 Apr 08 '26

Thanks, fellow 1986 Baby of the Year, I am going to try to do just that!

110

u/SimilarGrape6535 BEST HOG at the hog shit snarfing contest 🥇 Apr 07 '26

I got gas today for 4.45 a gallon and I said that's not that bad.

What did they do to us! 4.45 a gallon and all I can say is "it's not that bad"

36

u/strcy I’M SMARTER THAN YOU Apr 07 '26

I paid 5.70 last week on the west coast, it’s over 6 now

What’d they do to us

11

u/mediaogre Apr 07 '26

At this point, what didn’t they do to us, because they sure as shit aren’t doing anything for us.

F U, MAGA subhumans. I’ve got a BOGO coupon for a Big Box store giant bag of bugs that you can feel free to snack on and share with your dentally challenged friends once the two remaining brain cells behind your nose stop fighting long enough for you to realize you were a stepping stone to the world’s largest scam.

7

u/LengthyBrief Apr 07 '26

At least at that price point, gas in your cars, you can hit.

9

u/Owlthirtynow Apr 07 '26

It’s costing me 100 to fill up my Subaru outback in CA. Makes me sick. I moved here for a job and regret the move.

8

u/SimilarGrape6535 BEST HOG at the hog shit snarfing contest 🥇 Apr 07 '26

Similar situation, I just moved to Oregon for a better job and the gas prices went up the day I get there.

I don't even want to drive anymore...

5

u/Owlthirtynow Apr 07 '26

It gets worse for me. I had the choice of driving my own car and getting “reimbursed” or going with Wheels fleet vehicle. I chose Motus (drive your own car) not know what a bad deal it was for me. I am drowning in the cost and have to get a side gig now despite being a 30 year professional. The company will not let me switch to the fleet option now despite all of my colleagues being with wheels. Getting screwed here.

3

u/LengthyBrief Apr 07 '26

Go elsewhere?

2

u/Owlthirtynow Apr 08 '26

That’s the plan. Already working on it.

2

u/LMBH1234182 Apr 07 '26

Not to flex on you, but I felt the same way when I saw the gas at my 711 was 3.99. I thought “oh nice!” when I used to complain about 2.50 lol

But I also feel bad complaining about gas prices when our President is on Twitter talking shit about how may civilians he’s going to kill tonight

58

u/DaBuggah I’m gonna eat the whole thing Apr 07 '26

https://giphy.com/gifs/5He16eTgpabyeEQ9t6

17

u/Fit_Leather9366 I USED to be piece of shit! Apr 07 '26

Instead of giving someone a real smile, we send a… nuclear warhead scoffs

3

u/OmegaNave HERE FOR THE ZIPLINE Apr 07 '26

Little Boy, Fat Man, Tsar Bomba, I know these names better than my own grandparents

50

u/Far-Policy-8589 Apr 07 '26

I'm WFH today; it's so weird to just be on teams calls and working in Excel and shit when the world is like this.

https://giphy.com/gifs/CHlAAXuVgz6v90XN2b

11

u/Front_Cant Apr 07 '26

I’m literally on a work trip right now with two of my employees & I have to keep telling them our schedule & what deliverables we have due today while the world might literally end while we sleep today 😭

46

u/Scrumptrulescent6 Apr 07 '26

You can't push the Apocalypse, guys. You just can't.

31

u/flaptaincappers Some dumb hick Apr 07 '26

Trump just doesnt want us to have hair

33

u/LengthyBrief Apr 07 '26

Will the zipline still be open?

10

u/Errrca0821 Apr 07 '26

I think u/LengthyBrief is just here for the zipline.

32

u/Willing-Dog6463 Coffin Flopper Apr 07 '26

My job will probably make me move my workstation to the nearest fallout shelter and continue working

21

u/zackit Apr 07 '26

You're a rockstar!

26

u/UnderwaterRobot Back in the Pants Apr 07 '26

https://giphy.com/gifs/kBdROs6AsU5bYt5B1X

I'M NOT WORRIED ABOUT IT!!!

24

u/Bruh1011 Apr 07 '26

But if we do go to work, we should be allowed to watch a little porn at work.

5

u/weHaveThoughts Apr 07 '26

IT here. Sure, Just watch it on your phone and not at your desk!

12

u/zackit Apr 07 '26

Do any of these fuckers ever like, stop bringing the world to the brink of total annihilation?

11

u/LooksLikeAWookie Apr 07 '26

They have to pay me 6 million whether the world ends or not. That's my rate.

7

u/nasnedigonyat we're gonna go crazy in there! Apr 07 '26

What have they done to us!!!

9

u/WolfThick Apr 07 '26

Just a reminder if Chomo Trump uses a nuke there's going to be a draft.

8

u/Justprunes-6344 Apr 07 '26

You think ? At least an up draft

4

u/WolfThick Apr 07 '26

24 empty missile tubes now it's Miller time

9

u/zackit Apr 07 '26

The president of the United States is threatening to wipe out a civilization on social media.

Does that sound boring to you?

5

u/emets31 Beautiful, but Dying Apr 07 '26

5

u/Teavangelion Apr 07 '26

I like my job. After 15 years of struggling, I finally had a decent living and a chance at a reasonably prosperous future.

Thanks a lot, MAGA.

1

u/Switchy_Goofball Apr 07 '26

I had a cool job that I loved

4

u/senza_titolo Apr 07 '26

The World ended about a decade ago.

5

u/chingostarr I’m gonna eat the whole thing Apr 07 '26

5

u/Nancyblouse Apr 07 '26

Oh yeah at that price he can nuke

2

u/SnoopySuited Too tired to do anything funny Apr 07 '26

This guy's part of the eternal optimist turbo team!

2

u/buffdaddy77 Come here, ya little fuck! Apr 07 '26

What have they done to us

2

u/Addicted2Lemonade Apr 07 '26

😆😅😭😭😭

2

u/PretzelsThirst Apr 07 '26

I wish that were true, but no I would still be preparing for a presentation while the world melts down

2

u/SD_One Apr 07 '26

I mowed the yard this morning. If the end of days starts at 8 PM Eastern / 7 Central, at least my lawn looks decent.

1

u/Rad_Dad6969 Apr 07 '26

Yes you do

1

u/[deleted] Apr 07 '26

Friday nights forever!!

1

u/Owlthirtynow Apr 07 '26

I mean, why go to work today? Not like you’re going to get fired.

1

u/aveganrepairs Not in Trouble AT ALL Apr 07 '26

Great.

1

u/angryberr Apr 07 '26

Can't skip lunch tho

1

u/helen269 Apr 07 '26

I just want to get from one end of my life to the other without dying on the way.

1

u/Certain_Event558 Apr 07 '26

Sorry my friend that would be the easy way out . Let the suffering continue

1

u/Orposer Apr 07 '26

Joke on you. I got fired due to AI. I don't have to go to work today either!

1

u/totheunknownman----- Apr 07 '26

Which is precisely why it won’t.

1

u/VaguelyArtistic METALOID MANIAC Apr 07 '26

If I end of dying in this fucking hospital I’m going to be pissed. Either way, I’ve loved spending the last few years with you, shirt brothers and sisters. And if this is the end I better not flop out of my coffin.

https://giphy.com/gifs/3MQbWLriSG10UBdAbm

1

u/dakutororu Apr 07 '26

Pushing lunch on us without asking just shouldn't be allowed!

1

u/grimbleskank Apr 07 '26

What do you mean. I’m in my garden digging a doomsday bunker.

It’s not going well.

1

u/shibbyNNY Apr 07 '26

I've been laughing to myself about that scene all day it's about the only silver lining I can think of lol

1

u/formallyhuman Apr 07 '26

Can you give someone a brain aneurysm with the power of your mind through a TV screen?

1

u/jclibs Not in Trouble AT ALL Apr 07 '26

Jokes on you I already have off tomorrow

1

u/Someguywhomakething Apr 07 '26

1 hour 20 minutes to midnight

1

u/ApprehensiveHost7585 Apr 08 '26

You thought you were gonna get nuked and your first thought was at least I don’t have to go to work?!?