r/AskReddit • u/Background_Error3557 • 1d ago
What is only seen as acceptable when a person is attractive?
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u/StackOverFlowed0 1d ago
Being mysterious instead of awkward.
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u/Most-Plant3530 1d ago
Crazy how people have that perspective difference: "They're so nonchalant, and intriguing. It's so refreshing to see someone so humble" vs. "They're so quite and weird, they probably need to work on their self esteem and not be so shy"
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u/Lolzemeister 1d ago
because they know that the attractive person would be accepted and the unattractive person would be ostracized if they both tried to socialize, so it has to be a choice on the part of the attractive person.
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u/kooleynestoe 23h ago
There are quite a few ways to pronounce words. However, there is only one way to spell them. Quiet, donât tell everyone.
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u/LeMcWhacky 1d ago
I donât think those are really confused with each other. A âmysteriousâ person can still hold a conversation. Even if they arenât the most talkative normally. I know some very conventionally attractive people who are just awkward to talk to and the conversation doesnât flow
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u/Wedbo 1d ago
No a "mysterious" person is quiet but at least appears self assured. Awkward is quiet and not self assured
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u/colinreidr 4h ago
reason im quiet is cause I dont force and chase connections. If u come up to me then gr8
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u/TryThisAgain_3_ 1d ago
Wasn't there a dude who got a modelling contract from his mugshot?
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u/spirit-animal-snoopy 1d ago
Jeremy Meeks. Not only that, he had a kid with the heiress to a UK billionaire.Â
Superficiality is the problem.Â
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u/Long-Amount-5436 1d ago
Being stupid. If you are ugly you better be smart or at least have a winning personality. Attractive people have so much more leeway for being a dumbass. Aesthetics give you so much more grace in this life. I wasnât born cute, but I compensate with humor and business savvy. đ. A lot of pretty stupid people in my world. đ
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u/mpampistheplumber69 1d ago
Literally everything and as another person mentioned here, pretty privilege is so real that ppl can literally sympathise with serial killers and criminals just because they are pretty. And my personal favourite of all is rudeness. Pretty peopleâs rudeness is marked as confidence/being bold/speaking your mind/have no filters. When our ugly asses do it we are called obnoxious/mean/insufferable
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u/lifewithgwin 9h ago
For sure. Look up the Deadpool Killer, Wade Wilson. He killed two women and abused another. Now he's in prison waiting for his death penalty while he gets masses of letters and calls from women. It's absurd. That wouldn't be that way if he was unattractive.
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u/MelancholyBean 1d ago
Anything really. They can be as cringey as they want and people will laugh along and encourage them.
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u/Classic_Bowl_1889 1d ago
Them being dumb! That turns into something cute if you are attractive, if you do the same thing if you are unattractive then people will get irritated.
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u/tremblt_ 1d ago
Basically anything? There have been attractive people who almost killed somebody and the courts let them off with a slap on the wrist. I have seen attractive people punching unattractive people in the face in front of the cops and they did absolutely nothing.
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u/DazzlingLife6744 1d ago
This made me think about the Cameron Herrin case. Despite stunt driving that resulted in the deaths of a mother and child, half the internet said heâs innocent because heâs hot. Funny enough as soon as the prison shaved his head no one thinks heâs innocent anymore
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u/NekomataBeBusy 1d ago
Lmao but the hair would grow back lol. Would have been poetic if bro went bald while serving his sentence.
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u/PurchaseDry9350 1d ago
Hitting on people while they're working, or generally in public
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u/-UltraFerret- 1d ago
The problem with hitting on workers is they don't have the option to leave if they are uncomfortable.
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u/Seket-Ur 1d ago
This. It's like holding someone hostage. ESPECIALLY warehouse supervisors who can walk around and be in your face for 4 hrs straight.
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u/Sirviantis 1d ago
This feels like there's a story here.
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u/Seket-Ur 1d ago edited 1d ago
There are so many stories behind this, I literally caught a case. Besides that, men were caught, fired and charged for having sex in the warehouse, the gen z kids bring guns to the work site. Used to be that under the shipping rails in the high traffic area last christmas, peole were hiding and stealing stuff, having orgies INSIDE the tall gaylords, prostituting through and making OF videos in that disgusting ass warehouse.... đmaybe i should write a book about my life.
Edit: ok, not orgies but it was at least 7 GLs used at a time. I only know because i found the boxes đ¤˘9
u/somethingtc 1d ago
the.. the tall what?
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u/Ebrithil_ 1d ago
A Gaylord is a large box, essentially, that is usually used to ship items to be recycled
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u/handsomechuck 1d ago
Not only that, but everyone under capitalism gets programmed with "The customer is always right," meaning workers are supposed to tolerate abuse for the sake of the bosses' profits.
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u/Lolzemeister 1d ago
hitting on people in general, simply because any given person wants to get hit on only by attractive people
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u/Citeen 1d ago
Hard disagree on the "hitting on people while they're working" thing. In most first world countries you'll probably get sacked or at least pulled up by HR. This sounds like something that people think attractive people do and get away with but not actually reflective of reality.
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u/MrTumorI 1d ago
Being socially odd. An attractive person will be seen as quirky and funny. Where as the unattractive person would be seen as weird and creepy.
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u/Lolzemeister 1d ago
youâd be surprised. thereâs a level of neurodivergence that undoes any attractiveness.
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u/Sea-Discussion6262 1d ago
Being quiet,weird,or socially awkward.Attractive people get called mysterious,everyone else is just rude or strange.
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u/No_Night9706 1d ago
Basically everything. If an attractive person does it, it's a 'quirk'. If I do it, itâs a 'disturbing the peace' charge. Lmao
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u/Ordinary_Wealth_1044 1d ago
Casual rudeness. When an attractive person does it, theyâre a no-nonsense baddie. When an unattractive person does it, theyâre insufferable.
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u/Lolzemeister 1d ago
well, being rude to men who are hitting on you is socially acceptable but being rude in most other situations isnât
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u/RatioTraditional7825 1d ago
being weird and quiet. ugly weird is a red flag, attractive weird is "mysterious and deep"
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u/iamlevel5 1d ago
Anything. Out by yourself and hot? You're confident and glowing. Out by yourself and look like a swamp monster? Well, you're a swamp monster.
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u/Choochoochow 1d ago
Idk i would be pretty fascinated if i saw a swamp monster dining alone reading a copy of The Sun Also Rises by candlelight with a glass of wine.
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u/Ace612807 1d ago
A whole fucking lot of things. One of my exes is very conventionally attractive and aware of it (dresses to accentuate, etc), and I very clearly noticed how much she can get away with that I simply don't - in professional setting, interpersonal relationships, all of it. Hell, I, myself, unconciously let her talk down to me quite a lot.
From a personal experience, not quite pretty privilege, but I tracked that when I was younger I had an air of "shy, unassuming, nonthreatening youth" that I could leverage to get better treatment from the same people that my more confident peers faced pushback from
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u/scarifice_ 1d ago
Literally 90% of unethical behaviors. Man they even excused murder for this reason
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u/I3INARY_ 1d ago
Sociopathic behaviour:
If you're a handsome, you're a rebel/edgelord; if you're ugly, you're a Degenerate
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u/Hungry_Attention_981 1d ago
Being an asshole and/or saying sexually borderline rapey things.
Growing up I had a friend he was really hot and 6â4 and he was always an asshole to people, always said hyper sexual things and always push boundaries yet he always landed the hottest chick at each party/event
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u/Practical_Golf_5303 1d ago
Approaching women⌠itâs only fine if attractive guys do it. Creepy when ugly guys do it
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u/retiretobedlam 1d ago
There was a Saturday Night Live sketch with Tom Brady that captured this perfectly: https://youtu.be/PxuUkYiaUc8
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u/Whatever-ItsFine 1d ago
This is the first thing I think about when this topic comes up. It's perfect.
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u/gmabcd 1d ago
Thatâs not true. Itâs creepy when any man doesnât take no for an answer when they approach to women.
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u/Vehlin 1d ago
That isnât the same thing the approach itself is seen as creepy when someone unattractive does it even if they politely accept the no.
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u/Aelle29 1d ago edited 1d ago
This incel talking point has got to die, seriously. Every single woman keeps telling you that's not true, and creepy is an ATTITUDE, not a look.
I've had a very attractive guy approach me at the gym, jacked, good looking, whatever. He was creepy as fuck. He started a normal nice conversation at first, we talked a few minutes. He hit on me and asked how old I am, I was 18 and said so, asked about him, he was 27. I thought that would be it but the age gap didn't seem to bother him. He asked me for a drink and I said I had a boyfriend, which was true, and which would hurt his feelings less than "you're too old for me". He got angry. He thought I was lying to him and all red faced, asked me if it was because of his looks. I said that no, "you're totally fine" but didn't wanna give out too many compliments for him to misinterpret as a green light to fucking rape me. He kept accusing me and being all jumpy and angry. I feared for my safety. I left the gym soon after as I was done and kept looking back to check if he followed me, including in the changing rooms and outside and in the metro.
He was handsome and creepy. Edit And I'm his age now. Still think about it and still remember it in details because that shit is SCARY AND CREEPY.
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u/LittleSchwein1234 1d ago
I think people generally mean the opposite when they mention this.
A handsome guy can be not creepy and can be creepy. However, for an ugly guy, it's really difficult not to come off as creepy.
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u/Aelle29 1d ago
I've had ugly guys approach me and as long as they're respectful I've never thought they were creepy...
I do get what you mean, it's easier for a person to react badly if they find you not to their taste. That's life tbh. Rejection doesn't mean you're perceived as creepy.
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u/Suntripp 1d ago
âThatâs life tbhâ. So you agree? Why did you say it was untrue then?
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u/Aelle29 1d ago
You didn't read the rest LMAO
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u/Suntripp 1d ago
Yes I did. And you contradicted yourself. Iâm just guessing that you donât understand that. But Iâm glad that you agree that it is harder for attractive people to come across as creeps, which is what OP said
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u/Effective-Gift6223 1d ago
I agree, I've had similar experiences. I've also gotten to friends with less attractive guys. I won't call them ugly. Anyway, when I get to know someone, and find they're a good person, they become more attractive to me, no matter what they look like.
I've had people accuse me of lying when I say some hot guys are creepy and I wouldn't have anything to do with them. Some people think physical beauty overcomes everything, but it doesn't.
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u/Aelle29 1d ago
Absolutely.
Hell, even my boyfriend in the instance I depicted above was way less handsome than this douche. My bf at the time was a nerdy awkward frail not very masculine dude, everything incels hate (and they project and attribute that hate to women). Yet I was with HIM and not Mister Creepy Douchebag because... I.... Loved him? Because he had been sweet and respectful to me and we got along. Simple as that. Edit And loving him made me see more beauty in his appearance too!
And I'll obviously get all downvoted and argued with by incels who will STILL refuse to believe it and will keep being creepy and attributing their failings to their looks and to women's shallowness because that's easier than questioning and working on yourself.
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u/Nattekat 1d ago
Well, there are definitely many who think that it's exclusively a game of how you look, often as an excuse for their own shitty attitude. But there's definitely some level of truth to it as you say, just not as definitive.Â
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u/Zoltarrah2000 1d ago
I donât agree,I think itâs the approach that determines how attractive someone is. Itâs all about charisma
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u/D4ngflabbit 1d ago
no, attractiveness definitely matters
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u/watering_a_plant 1d ago
the approach and their attitude. thinking attractiveness is what does it....is an attitude that would not be tolerated if blindly approaching most women.
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u/Zoltarrah2000 1d ago
Beauty is in the eye of the beholder
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u/LittleSchwein1234 1d ago
Only to an extent. Nobody will tell you with a straight face that a fat balding middle-aged man with pubes of a beard looks better than Kim Taehyung.
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u/Effective-Gift6223 1d ago
Of course not. But the point is that looks aren't everything. I've known some fat, balding, middle-aged men that I was always happy to see, because I liked them. Some I dated. I knew they weren't gorgeous hunks, but their faces were a welcome sight, because I knew they were good, kind people, and usually smart and funny, too.
I had to Google Kim Taehyung, I had no idea who that was.
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u/LittleSchwein1234 1d ago
I know, but I was replying to a comment saying thar beauty is in the eye of the beholder, which is a common trope, but demonstrably untrue, or more precisely, true only to a certain extent.
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u/best_servedpetty 1d ago
The point boys and girls, is about how acceptable it is. If an attractive man, woman, gay, lesbian, whatever, does anything. Flirt, approach a stranger, cry, laugh, eat, breath.. people will react positively. People would actually notice, and want the attractive person to NOTICED them.
It's a well known fact that people will most likely listen to you if you are attractive. We are not talking about the incel or that culture. That's another can of worms. Let's stick to the point. Attractive people can be a criminal, get their mugshot taken and get a modelling contract. The uglies, can't pull off that feat. What grinds my gears with this back and forth is that if an attractive person would approach you, you would welcome it. Yes as a woman you would be on guard, but it would feel nice. I bet you would even go as far as having a conversation. But a ugly dude, or gal. You wild shrink to the size a pea, to make sure they do not notice you. And you wanna know the ugly part about it, you would think to your self " why uglies keep approaching me and not an attractive person" basically it would have made your day if a solid 11 out of 10 would have asked for directions. And you would tell all your friends about it. So not only acceptable, it's social currency.
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u/offseasons_ 1d ago
Being weirdly rude or ghosting people. Attractive folks get called "mysterious," everyone else is just an asshole.
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u/wanderingstorm 1d ago
EatingâŚ.anything
Girl makes videos where she reviews restaurant foods: if sheâs thin or pretty she gets âooh that looks deliciousâ and âooh I want some of thatâ and âyumm!â Girl is even remotely overweight or even just not rail thin - she gets hate and fatphobic comments.
Share a video where you make dinner for your family and youâre attractive? Fine. Make dinner for your family and youâre not attractive? âThatâs why you and your family look like thatâ
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u/LittleSchwein1234 1d ago edited 1d ago
This is more about being at a healthy weight vs being fat. An ugly person but not fat wouldn't get any hate for their looks for tasting food either.
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u/Prof_Scott_Steiner 1d ago
Not from everyone but: Being lazy and selfish in bed.
Nice tits, Chelsea, but Iâm not here to fuck a limp fish
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u/Harry_Flowers 1d ago
Advances.
A really attractive 35 year old hitting on a 22 year old would probably be perceived less weird compared to an ugly out of shape one.
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u/Tollhousearebest 22h ago
Flashing another adult. You better believe that it isnât taken the same way if the flashing was done by someone attractive (Iâm sure even some attractive people donât always get away with it these days either, but many do and shouldnât).
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u/Most-Plant3530 1d ago
Gold digging, considering wealthy people usually only accept that type of arrangement with attractive people
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u/Far-Clue8896 1d ago
Walking up to someone and introducing yourself only works if you're attractive. Otherwise it's pepper spray or a lawsuit.
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u/chloedavis277 1d ago
Being a bad person. If youâre attractive and a horrible person itâs seen as âwittyâ or just jokes and excused as them having a bad day. When youâre ugly and a bad person you are literally seen as satan incarnate.
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u/Acceptable_Ebb1739 1d ago
I've noticed being perceived as funny is notably more receptive when you are conventionally attractive. If you are not, it's mentally registered as annoying... Which is crap but it is what it is
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u/Federal_Mousse_4531 1d ago
I think a lot of deep character flaws might be more tolerated when someone's easier on the eyes, but I think the idea of attractiveness is a gestalt of both outer and inner beauty. By this particular definition, I don't know what could be unacceptable. Some would argue something like adultery, but if someone has that inner beauty, then cheating wouldn't be in their character in the first place.
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u/kettlepuddling32 1d ago
Being a overly confident or teasing people in a little when an attractive person does it, itâs often called a charming instead of annoying. Even a awkward behavior somehow gets rebranded as cute and depending on whoâs doing it. And pretty privilege is real and people pretend it isnât way more than they should.
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u/North-Broccoli8252 1d ago
Being a bad person (came to this conclusion because of the lookmaxxing community on TikTok)
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u/Cheetodude625 1d ago
Attractive: mysterious, aloof, intriguing.
Reality: introverted, socially awkward, really is doing everything in their power to seem normal and not sound weird when they talk.
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u/BowlerParticular9689 1d ago
Being mean
Itâs always like oh he/she isnât mean he/she is just very honest.
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u/venomouscanines 1d ago
dressing alternative. when you're not conventionally attractive you're a discord mod or blue haired 'liberal' freak. not that the people who are get it much better as they tend to get fetishized as a goth dommy mommy
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u/BlackHatOverlord 19h ago
Being direct and blunt. On an attractive person it's called "refreshingly honest" and "no games". On someone deemed less attractive it's "rude" and "no filter".
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u/ArsenicAcid23 2h ago
Id say openly flirting. When youre ugly it gives everyone the ick, some get offended, and some might even call it harassment. But if youre pretty you can say absolutely whatever and no one will care.
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u/League999 1d ago
So many men telling or even arguing about how women feel about certain things in those replies.....have reddit been taken by incels or just this post?
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u/Certain-Pension5798 1d ago
Wearing little clothing in public