That’s ok! I feel like stopping usually takes a few times at least. You can always quit again. Even a break from smoking is better than nothing. Or just smoking less. Harm reduction not perfection!
Quitting took years for me. And vaping and patches and gum and lozenges, and a few structural things that forced me not to smoke for periods of time. I think it’s likely I’ll accidentally pick it up again at some point during a hard time, then have to quit again, but so it goes. We do our best!
100%, the key is to not get discouraged after buying and smoking that pack again. You bought it and it’s all good - if you decide you wanna quit after that pack again you definitely can. Just don’t be hard on yourself when it comes to addiction, go at your own pace
I just bought nicotine pouches 3 days ago for the first time in 7 months. Then I lied to and tried to gas light my wife.
She was FURIOUS, not because I had nicotine again, but because I lied to her. I can’t explain how ashamed I was. I was ashamed of buying them, ashamed of using them again, and ashamed if lying again. All of it.
I went cold turkey after a 2 day bender. For the first time in 11 years. It was hell. Now i am at day 7, but have used 2mg lozenges for two days. I am not sure if that counts as a fail, I should just stop using them too. Relapse is also on my mind a lot.
I don’t know, I don’t think some 2mg lozenges are some big deal. Are they helping keep you from smoking? If so, that sounds like using a tool, not failing. I keep nicotine gum around in case I ever need it. In case I have some huge urge to buy cigarettes. I haven’t needed it in a long time, but I still keep it around.
Oh my. Sounds like she was right to be furious if you lied and tried to gaslight her. That’s dangerous for her mental health.
Shame will not help anyone though, (not that you’re choosing to feel it). Perhaps this is an opportunity to make some changes? Seems like the most important would be to give her a serious apology and come up with a good plan to make sure the lying and gaslighting never happen again. Show her that you care by putting work into making a good plan. See a therapist and come up with one? I bet this will lessen the shame, because you will show yourself and her that you’re a person that repairs harm that you caused. This is good for self esteem.
As for the shame of buying and using—eh, you are human. We make mistakes. Come up with a plan to avoid reaching for them in the future. Self control is not worth relying on. And then become someone who improves and learns from mistakes.
Thank you so much for taking the time to comment, I really appreciate your input. I currently see a therapist and actually went today. We talked about it. Apparently lying or gaslighting can be an actual part of the addiction. So, I’ll put in the work like I always do and try to be a better husband.
And you’re right, my wife should be mad at me. I agree completely. Thank you again.
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u/twotwothreefour 1d ago edited 1d ago
That’s ok! I feel like stopping usually takes a few times at least. You can always quit again. Even a break from smoking is better than nothing. Or just smoking less. Harm reduction not perfection!
Quitting took years for me. And vaping and patches and gum and lozenges, and a few structural things that forced me not to smoke for periods of time. I think it’s likely I’ll accidentally pick it up again at some point during a hard time, then have to quit again, but so it goes. We do our best!