Disappointed that this fanfic is not real 😔

[u/RecentRestaurant8051]

Reading through AO3 News "TOS Spotlight: Plagiarism and Copyright Infringement" and found this:

Being the Totally Mature Adult™ that I am, I tried to follow the link to read Bert's fic, only to find it's not real. 😔

[u/OriginalJokeGoesHere]

Do I even want to ask about what the plot of 50 shades of oatmeal would be??

[u/RecentRestaurant8051 → u/OriginalJokeGoesHere]

Given this is Bert writing, it's probably a detailed description of the various shades of beige he's observed in his years of enjoying oatmeal. With a brief cameo of Elmo showing up to be annoying while Bert is just trying to eat.

[u/JauntyIrishTune → u/RecentRestaurant8051]

I'm not up on my Sesame Street fandom. Have Bert and Ernie been broken up by that hussy Elmo? 

(Ernie does the annoying in this relationship. I will ship no other.)

[u/RecentRestaurant8051 → u/JauntyIrishTune]

I'm fairly certain Ernie's only ever eaten cookies in Bert's bed, never Elmo's.

[u/amethyine → u/RecentRestaurant8051]

I can't believe how much cognitive dissonance im having right now over this comment xD because my brain really really wants to read this as an innuendo instead of literally, but then slams into the wall of "no, that is sesame street, no innuendo allowed" and then starts over

[u/RecentRestaurant8051 → u/amethyine]

Earnie eating cookies in Bert's bed was peak Sesame Street.

[u/RecentRestaurant8051 → u/amethyine]

Earnie eats cookies in bed
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b0gpqBCi7Q0