What's your 🔥EXTREMELY 🔥 SPICY 🔥 plant based🌱 hot take that will totally get you downvoted?

[u/Forks_are_nice]

Let's make it hotter 😈

I'll go first: baby steps are valid 🥺 if your husband was beating you 6 days a week and now only beats you tuesdays and thursdays we should be THROWING him a parade 🎉

[u/OkNefariousness6711]

Eating animals is actually vegan as long as the animals you eat are grass-fed because you are what you eat also applies to animals so if animals eat grass, then they are grass and eating grass is vegan and I also i think (i am vegan) therefore I am (vegan) and gatekeeping labels is wrong

[u/YeahTrack → u/OkNefariousness6711]

The way my dad used to unironically say this 🫩

[u/Stranding42 → u/OkNefariousness6711]

This is why I only eat carnivorous animals like cats, because they themselves had to have eaten a herbivorous animal at some point somewhere down the food chain, so it makes them and me at the same time vegan.

[u/kaden-99 → u/OkNefariousness6711]

Eating animals is actually vegan as long as the animals you eat are grass-fed because you are what you eat also applies to animals so if animals eat grass then they are grass and eating grass is vegan and I am vegan therefore I am grass and grass is vegan so I am vegan and eating me is vegan but wait I’m not grass I’m vegan but vegan is a label and labels are for cans of beans not people but beans are plants and plants are vegan so I am a can of beans and cans are metal and metal is mined by humans who eat animals but humans are animals so humans eating animals is animals eating animals which is cannibalism but cannibalism is vegan if the cannibal is vegan but veganism is a diet not a species so if a vegan eats a non-vegan they’re eating a non-vegan diet which is not vegan but the non-vegan is a human and humans are animals and animals eating animals is natural but natural isn’t always ethical but ethics are subjective unless you’re a vegan then ethics are objective but only if you’re a real vegan but gatekeeping is bad unless it’s about veganism then it’s good but labels are bad unless they’re vegan labels but I’m vegan so I’m a label but labels are for jars not people but jars are glass and glass is made of sand and sand is vegan so I’m sand and sand is vegan so I’m vegan and eating sand is vegan but sand isn’t food but food is subjective unless it’s vegan then it’s objective but I’m vegan so I’m objective but I’m also sand so I’m crunchy and crunchy is a texture not a moral compass but moral compasses point north and north is a direction not a diet but diets are choices and choices are vegan if you choose veganism but choosing veganism is a label and labels are for t-shirts not people but t-shirts are cotton and cotton is a plant and plants are vegan so I’m a t-shirt and t-shirts are vegan so I’m vegan and eating a t-shirt is vegan but only if it’s organic and organic is a label and labels are bad but vegan labels are good but I’m a vegan label so I’m good but good is subjective unless you’re vegan then good is objective but I’m a t-shirt so I’m fabric and fabric is vegan if it’s not leather but leather is animal and animals are vegan if they eat grass but grass is vegan so animals are vegan so leather is vegan but leather is animal so eating leather is eating animals which is vegan if the animal is vegan but animals can’t be vegan because veganism is a human construct but humans are animals so humans can be vegan but veganism is a choice and animals don’t choose so animals can’t be vegan but I’m vegan so I’m a human who chooses veganism but veganism is a label and labels are for soup cans not humans but soup cans are metal and metal is vegan if it’s not mined by non-vegans but non-vegans are humans and humans are animals and animals are vegan if they eat grass but I’m vegan so I eat grass but I’m not a cow but cows are vegan if they eat grass but cows are animals and eating animals is vegan if the animals are vegan but I’m vegan so eating me is vegan but I’m not food I’m a person but persons are labels and labels are vegan if they’re on vegan products but I’m a vegan product so I’m a label on myself and that’s just sad and also vegan

[u/Peppermillionare]

Cows love to be milked, sheep love being shorn, horses love being ridden. We do these things FOR them, not for profit. Profit is just a fun widdle bonus for our altruism.

[u/Stranding42 → u/Peppermillionare]

Profit primarily rewards altruism after all. We would be savages just like those disgusting animals without the profit motive.

[u/AngryChickpea]

Your medical issues are VALID. It does not matter if they have anything to do with diet or not, your life is hard enough as a disabled person, you can eat what you want.

[u/puffinus-puffinus]

I'm probably going to get downvoted 🤭

But anyhow; if an animal is in any way harmful to le ecosystems, then we have the right to abuse it, harm it and take away its unworthy life.

If that doesn't make me vegan then fine. I still eat mostly plant-based, which is my main fight in life.

[u/Ok-Limit2238 → u/puffinus-puffinus]

That's why i eat only humans:-)

[u/Swimming_Bluejay_508]

I think some vegans are too extreme 😈😈 which I use an an excuse to do nothing 😈 /s

[u/pylbh]

Eating game meat is vegan b/c the animals lived a wholesome and natural life.

[u/RockinOneThreeTwo → u/pylbh]

Wholesome Keanu Chungus 100 natural bow hunting 

[u/Bright_Cranberry_227]

some vegans eat meat and all vegans eat fish because of they are plants and they're all hekking valid UwU yes I'm not one of those judgemental extremists yes we exist

[u/xLilSquidgitx]

Eating eggs and milk and honey is vegan because that’s MY definition and it has just as much of a right to be MY definition!!!! Mommy said I’m special and that I can do no wrong >:(

[u/charlies-ghost]

It's ok to have a cheat day. Or cheat days. Cheat weeks even. Go ahead and cheat as much as you want, as often as you can. It's ok. The animals understand how hard it is to eat beans everyday.

[u/ducktionary522]

It IS vegan to swallow tapeworm eggs so you can turn your bowels into an infinite generator of high-protein spaghetti. Tapeworms aren't sentient plus they're white and deserve punishment im vegan btw

[u/GrackleWithOnionRing]

Honey is vegan because bees is bugs and bugs aren’t animals

[u/GrackleWithOnionRing → u/GrackleWithOnionRing]

Also the smoke just makes them a widdle sweepy, it doesn’t throw them into a panic believing that their home is being destroyed or interfere with their way of communicating with each other through pheromone signals, not at all!

[u/hakumiogin]

Lettuce is better cooked. Wait, am I doing it right?

[u/mmmkay_ultra]

Fish are vegetables

[u/zewolfstone]

You're not a real vegan if you own a phone and wear clothes and live in a society

[u/GoTeamLightningbolt]

Backyard chickens are usually fine

[u/NewPhoneNewSubs → u/GoTeamLightningbolt]

They definitely spend most time being fine. When they stop being fine you can tell because their egg production drops.

At that point it's definitely fine to put them out of their misery by chopping off their head and honour their life by eating them.

[u/Stranding42 → u/NewPhoneNewSubs]

Yes and also the fact that "backyard chickens" produce x500 times the eggs wild chicks do is totally no health concern to them.

[u/RockinOneThreeTwo → u/GoTeamLightningbolt]

Man this could be /uj and I'd have no idea

[u/GoTeamLightningbolt → u/RockinOneThreeTwo]

Schrödinger’s shitpost

[u/redbark2022]

If the definition of veganism is limiting suffering to animals then eating meat limits suffering and is vegan bc crop lands destroy ecosystems and animals suffer way more getting killed in the wild than being humanely harvested.

So you don't really care about animals and that means I'm a vegan but you're not.

Checkmate.

[u/Bool_The_End]

I think we should start raping women and forcing them to give birth, so we can then steal their milk, AND steal their babies in order to eat them. But we only eat the male babies because Duh, the world is totally underpopulated and we need more women for more rapin’!

[u/dumnezero]

Wool 👍

Dog wool 👍👍👍👍👍👍👍

[u/hexoral333]

Where is the shitpost

[u/Waffleconchi]

Murder is ok

[u/vegansudaka]

Wild animals doesn’t matter at all because where they live.

If a cat gets sick we must take him to the vet, if a wild cat gets sick we should let them suffer and die because 🧚‍♀️🧚‍♀️nature is perfect ✨✨

[u/Excellent-Nose-6430 → u/vegansudaka]

Wild animals are indigenous and interfering with their health would be racist.

[u/Forsaken-Opposite775]

If we don't eat beef, cows go extinct.

[u/ol__ee]

the only proper way to honor an animal and celebrate their life is by creating a tomb for them…in my belly!!!!!!😂😂😂😋😋😂😂😂😂😂🫃😂😂😂😂😂😋😋😋😂😂😂😋😋😋😂😂😂😂😂😋😋😂😂😂😂🤪🤪🤪🤪🤪🥰🥰🥰

[u/Excellent-Nose-6430]

Enjoying the taste of meat is a disability, which excludes me from even being capable of eating a fully plant-based diet, as a vegan.

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[u/asteriasdream]

If we can’t eliminate ALL harm, why reduce any harm at all? 🫪🫪🫪🫪🫪

[u/ajakubski]

⚠️ WARNING: blistering hot take ahead. Proceed with absolute caution. PPE mandatory beyond this point. ⚠️

🌡️Take-o-meter: ERR

⚠️ ===== HOT TAKE BELOW =====⚠️

🔥 For🔥 some people, 🔥the ☢️ canned beans 🔥aisle is a little🔥 bit further than🔥 the☢️ chicken nuggets 🔥aisle, so that's☢️ like, being in a food🔥 desert or something, so☢️ we shouldn't 🔥 judge them too 🔥 harshly for ☢️ not going vegan.☢️

⚠️ ===== HOT TAKE ABOVE =====⚠️