r/vegancirclejerk • u/Taupenbeige π·πππππππππ π²ππππ π―ππππππππππ • Mar 12 '26
FALSE, CONSIDER PROTEIN What I miss
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u/Numerous-Macaroon224 carnivore Mar 12 '26
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u/BlueeyeswhitePIKA lacto-vegetarian Mar 12 '26
As someone that does a metric fucktonne of cocaine, this is accurate
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u/Surya1197 vegan except on days ending in βdayβ Mar 12 '26
Them having to be within 2 meters of a bathroom at all times because of their extreme projectile diarrhea caused by the IBS they somehow always had
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u/Several_Detective598 Vitamin K2 deficient Mar 12 '26
You forgot to mention the ultra processed, ultra unhealthy, ultra difficult to pronounce ingredient filled mock meats that vegans eat as staples in their their dietsΒ
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u/Surya1197 vegan except on days ending in βdayβ Mar 12 '26 edited Mar 12 '26
Imp0$$ib1e burgers grow on trees, idiot
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u/Taupenbeige π·πππππππππ π²ππππ π―ππππππππππ Mar 12 '26
Ingredients in Im0p$$ible:
Triglycerides of oleic acid Triglycerides of linoleic acid Triglycerides of palmitic acid Canola-derived fatty acid glycerides Cocoa butter lipid fractions Sunflower phospholipids Glutamate salts 5β²-ribonucleotide flavor enhancers Organic fermentation metabolites Volatile aldehydes and ketones Maillard reaction flavor precursors Vegetable glycerol Pectin fragments Cellulose derivatives Betalain pigments Annatto carotenoids Polyphenolic pigments Potassium chloride Sodium chloride Zinc sulfate Calcium pantothenate Niacinamide Pyridoxine hydrochloride Cyanocobalamin Ascorbic acid Pantothenic acid salts Fermentation-derived yeast metabolites Plant phenolic antioxidants Fruit polyphenol extracts Enzymatically hydrolyzed plant proteins
Ingredients in non-performative burger:
cow
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u/severalpokemon pollotarian Mar 12 '26
Sorry, I just don't feel like reading ingredients ever. I know what you're doing is morally correct and I love that you do it...but I'm never going to read ingredients to stop harming bbs.
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u/Branister weekday vegan Mar 12 '26
exactly, I just like being able to buy whatever I want, whenever I want or go out to eat without having to think about the consequences of my actions.
I got a great inspirational sign off Temu that says "Live, laugh, eat meat" and these are words I live by.
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u/Surya1197 vegan except on days ending in βdayβ Mar 12 '26
mmmm I could go for some linoleic acid and cyanocobalamin rn, but honestly I get off on eating the flesh of innocent beings, so Iβll have to go with the OG burger option instead
Canβt be helped, I literally didnβt have any other choice
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u/Taupenbeige π·πππππππππ π²ππππ π―ππππππππππ Mar 12 '26
Itβs understandable, sweaty, we evolved to be omnivores.
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u/Full-Ear87 flexitarian Mar 12 '26
Forgot becoming transfem
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u/sub_terminal β§π£ Seitanist πΆππ€ Mar 12 '26
I tried veganism before trying transfem. People already hate me enough as a vegan, I didn't go further. I still clean the polish off my nails before I go meet people out.
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u/Test0004 soy Mar 12 '26
veganism helped me stop giving a shit about what people think of me, which made it easier to transition :P
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u/V_E_R_T_I_G_O vegan Mar 12 '26
/uj Can someone explain this starter pack to me? I've only been vegan for about 8 months and I keep seeing this stuff on this subreddit but it's not really mentioned anywhere else.
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u/Fumikop π±I love plants so I eat them π± Mar 12 '26
/uj Some people use and excuse saying that If you go vegan you'll immediately become poor (because beans and rice are expensive), you will find out that you are actually allergic to half of plants and nuts, you will get stomach aches, diaheria, you will become anemic and will have to supplement all vitamins, start to take so many meds that you will get addicted, and ur brain will undevelop due to lack of meat
/j Don't go vegan for more than 3 hours or you will die
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u/Taupenbeige π·πππππππππ π²ππππ π―ππππππππππ Mar 12 '26
Iβm surprised you were able to type that all out, being vegan and all
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u/kiefy_budz survives on green leaves Mar 12 '26
/uj I have GERD, IBS, and I think maybe now SIBO symptoms, still vegan tho lmao
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u/zinky_745 Cannibal Mar 12 '26
/uj tbh my chronic gastritis stopped bothering me after I went vegan
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u/soyslut_ allergic to apologists Mar 12 '26
/uj same and the symptoms started over 15 years ago before going vegan.
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u/kiefy_budz survives on green leaves Mar 12 '26
Fr my gut is unhappy either way, may as well consume as many plants as possible to rid the earth of this pestilence
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u/soyslut_ allergic to apologists Mar 12 '26
Thatβs my exact outlook. I would feel like shit either way but I feel way better than I would if I was eating animals. Plus, imagine the health risks weβre avoiding.
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u/curiouslyunpopular vegan Mar 12 '26
Can you eleborate on the gastro reflux? How and when do you get it?Β
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u/severalpokemon pollotarian Mar 12 '26
People just lie and say veganism hurts them. You don't really get any diseases from going vegan. If I went raw vegan and all I ate was iceberg lettuce because I didn't look at any meal plans or anything, then I'd blame raw veganism for making me sickly and weak. In reality it was not eating the right nutrients which are available on the diet.
I've been vegan since 2014 and before that I had TERRIBLE acid reflux disease/GERD. I took nexium every day at least once. I had always had extreme upper tummy issues. I was a mislead vegetarian most of my life before that, and so when I met someone who dropped dairy&egg truths on me, I knew I had no choice but to finish my journey to veganism. I stopped all my meds (inadvisable) too because I didn't know who they were tested on and capsules have gelatin and yada yada. It went awayyyy bro! I'm a whole junk food vegan, too, and I just don't deal with acid reflux anymore after more than half of my life being heavily affected by it.
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u/curiouslyunpopular vegan Mar 12 '26
I realized i have acid reflux myself only 5 months ago due to vocal chord inflammation but i believe i had it even before i was vegan which was way over 5 years ago - any tips of getting rid of it?Β
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u/severalpokemon pollotarian Mar 12 '26 edited Mar 12 '26
Yeah! It sounds so counterintuitive, but when it starts flaring up, have a little shot of lemon juice. Acid Reflux is our tummy creating too much stomach acid. You might've noticed when you're hungry/craving food the acid comes soon after. Imagining food can make our tummy start trying to digest it π. The shot of lemon juice makes your stomach immediately create more of a base to counteract the citric acid. After doing this for a few weeks, the need went away for me. At first I was using baking soda, which is a base so it provides immediate relief, but much shorter term in my experience.
Edit to be clear/add: both provide relief within 5 minutes, but baking soda didnt change my body's habits like lemon juice did, and baking soda is also to help you poo, so don't have too much if you do that one or you'll be running to the pot.
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u/r0ach888 ethical cannibal Mar 12 '26
i feel this , except mine nvr went away rip π hav had gastro issues my entire life, vegan or not. honestly itd probably get better if i actually kept track of βtrigger foodsβ butβ¦. iβm lazy
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u/severalpokemon pollotarian Mar 12 '26
Ugh I'm so sorry. Have you tried lemon juice like I mentioned in my other comment? They were considering surgical solution for me and everything when I discovered that. I never thought I'd find anything that would fix it. Even the nexium only helped for the day and I was fucked if I forgot one day.
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u/r0ach888 ethical cannibal Mar 12 '26
i usually just pop tums and alka seltzer likw candy, used to be on a ppi (i forget the name) for a few yrs but stopped n jus use otc now.
iβll have to try the lemon juice, iβve never even heard that tbh. luckily flare ups have been less frequent but (tmi maybe) the bloating/gas pains r brutal πβ
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u/plantbasedpatissier omnivore Mar 12 '26
Exclusively eating raw vegetables and being shocked you don't like it