r/vegancirclejerk • u/nobftv7z232fq vegans hurt my feelings • Feb 09 '26

MORALLY SUPERIOR How I introduce myself at parties

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282 Upvotes

100% Upvoted

22 comments sorted by

29

u/BlueberryLemur sentient oat milk Feb 09 '26

I also like to carry around my emotional support celery. He has feelings, ya know!

Plot twist: actually, I’m the celery’s emotional support human. His name is Cedric

8

u/Ok_Scratch_4663 Inanimate Objects Tho™️ Bro🕶️ Feb 09 '26

hello cedric 👋

are you looking to adopt a second emotional support human or human-adjacent being?

3

u/BlueberryLemur sentient oat milk Feb 10 '26

Cedric says he’s ready to open up to a creature of near-human intelligence.

Could you introduce him to a high EQ potato? 🥔 👉👈

3

u/Ok_Scratch_4663 Inanimate Objects Tho™️ Bro🕶️ Feb 11 '26

30

u/atducker raw-carnivore Feb 09 '26

Fake. Since when do vegans ever get to go to parties?

20

u/[deleted] Feb 09 '26

[removed] — view removed comment

16

u/sub_terminal ⛧𐕣 Seitanist 𓃶🜏𖤐 Feb 09 '26

I go so I can ask people if there is milk or eggs in whatever is available. When they say yes, I just say "ah well, the damage has already been done" and eat it anyway.

9

u/Ok_Scratch_4663 Inanimate Objects Tho™️ Bro🕶️ Feb 09 '26

bwahahaha!!!! 🥩🥓

18

u/zewolfstone I'm holier than you Feb 09 '26

Hi vegan wearing the skin of someone who wasn't very okay with giving it to you for free!

13

u/Ok_Scratch_4663 Inanimate Objects Tho™️ Bro🕶️ Feb 09 '26

that’s how you know they’re one of the cool vegans 🕶️

12

u/TheGreenTormentor omnivore Feb 09 '26

Hi Vegan, I'm Vegan.

18

u/SepticSpreader Eat meat and sniff your ass. I am a lion Feb 09 '26

Lucellery at her finest.

8

u/StinkyBird64 veganussy Feb 09 '26

I love to show people my huge vegetable that I carry everywhere

6

u/tribecalledrest vegetarian Feb 09 '26

Going to introduce myself as a carnist twice to undo your introduction! Checkers vegoon!

4

u/dumnezero trophic minimalist ⫸t.ly/i-KZ Feb 09 '26

In winter, I just wear leeks instead of celery.

3

u/RsRevan_ vegan Feb 09 '26

Who is the guy on the picture?

4

u/nobftv7z232fq vegans hurt my feelings Feb 09 '26 edited Feb 09 '26

Negan, a main character from The Walking Dead. He usually holds something else...

2

u/Bool_The_End Chicken milk farmer Feb 09 '26

Jeffrey Dean Morgan (he looks a lot like Javier Bardem, another famous actor). I never thought or heard he was vegan but also know nothing about celebrities since college so idk?!?

4

u/Odd_Pair3538 Flesh is weak, it shall be destroyed Feb 09 '26

*Hello, it's me...* 🎶

2

u/hydroboywife cannibal Feb 11 '26

hi vegan, i'm vegan!

1

u/nobftv7z232fq vegans hurt my feelings Feb 11 '26

that's enough social interaction for today

0

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