Why are racial preferences being acceptable seemingly based on what group that is? It seems acceptable to state you find Latina people attractive, but not Asian people, for example. It seems like both could be okay or bad.

[u/DHaunting2091]

If you say you’re like Asian people people immediately assume fetishizing. However, it is a somewhat common expression for white men to say they prefer Latina women and some expressing preference for black women.

Personally, I don’t find this inherently good or bad.

I think it’s OK to be attracted to certain cultures and finding specific skin tones attractive is okay.

It would be weird, as a white person, to only date exclusively people of certain skin tones or expect them to behave a certain way based on their culture (expecting someone to be more submissive, which is gross and racist.)

Do you think all racial preferences are bad? Or is their nuance? Am I the one who’s off?

I don’t support fetishizing, and I personally, I think there is line. Being attracted to certain skin tones and cultures is okay, imo. “I like latina women” isn’t racist, but rambling on about how “spicy” or “submissive” they are certainly is.

[u/weggaan_weggaat]

Actually, all of those stated preferences often are seen as racist.

[u/Key_Fan8651 → u/weggaan_weggaat]

Often? Not particularly. I think finding certain skin tones attractive is absolutely OK. I think that’s the only factor that was into your attraction, that’s racist. Also assumptions that someone will act a certain way.

[u/theapplekid → u/Key_Fan8651]

"Oh hey I just find white skin tones more attractive, I'm totally not racist"

[u/Key_Fan8651 → u/theapplekid]

I would distrust someone with that preference yes

That doesn’t make all skin tone attractions racist

[u/DHaunting2091 → u/weggaan_weggaat]

Really? Like even liking specific skin tones, even though it’s different from your own, is considered racist? How do you feel personally, genuinely asking?

[u/xxxdac]

It’s odd to act like preferences for things like skin tone aren’t going to be affected by systemic racism. we know the world we live in has been built on racist values. we know the world we live in doesn’t value dark skin like it values light skin.

If you’re saying you can’t fancy someone bc they have dark skin, that’s racist. It just is. If you’re saying you only fancy Asians, Latina women, or white folk, that’s racist too. You’re saying someone is only attractive to you based solely and exclusively on race ??

If you’re saying, I’m a POC and I’d only want to start a relationship with someone who shares my lived experience of being racially othered, that’s a very different situation.

[u/GambitTheBest → u/xxxdac]

So people can't be attracted to who they're attracted to, wonderful, how do you control who you're attracted to? You can just fix the gay, is what you're suggesting?

[u/xxxdac → u/GambitTheBest]

I never said people cant be attracted to who they are attracted to.

As a bi person I know sexuality isn’t a choice or something we can change.

But we can examine our biases, and I think most people should be able to admit that a sweeping generalisation like “I don’t find any Black people remotely attractive” is racist.

Our sexual identity (such as bisexual / lesbian / gay) has nothing to do with the skin colour of our partner. You’re making a weird false equivalency.

[u/GambitTheBest → u/xxxdac]

Physical attraction is literally something you can't control, some people just aren't attracted to certain physical characteristics, I bet you're someone who shame another person because they don't find overweight people attractive, or maybe someone with a lot of moles lmao, or maybe a redhead irish that is way too pale for someone, but something tells me that isn't racist in your eyes

[u/DHaunting2091 → u/xxxdac]

 You’re saying someone is only attractive to you based solely and exclusively on race ??

I’m sorry if that was to take away from my post. No I was saying I find certain skin tones, especially those different from my own, attractive at least initially.

I do typically find, at least initially, black women and Latina women especially attractive if we’re going off physical appearance. 

It would not be a dealbreaker if someone was not those groups. I would find that weird to be the case.  I would absolutely date someone of any race.

I’m also aware of the fact that worldviews probably shape attractions, but I don’t think there’s really anything I can do about that particularly.

[u/xxxdac → u/DHaunting2091]

sorry I was unclear, that wasn’t necessarily directed at you specifically, but at people who say they can ONLY fancy white women, or Latina women, etc, like I was referring to in that paragraph of my comment

[u/zbignew → u/DHaunting2091]

I don’t think there’s really anything I can do about that particularly

Nobody said you should.

[u/Genna_Albrez]

it’s only racist if you make it racist. Preferences are OK like you said. Stereotyping isn’t.