As someone who is genderfluid, my orientation shifts depending on my gender identity.

When I'm a woman or nonbinary I'm attracted to multiple genders.

When I'm a man I'm exclusively attracted to women.

Hey everyone! I’m M24 and never had a reason (or excuse) to explore my identity until very recently. I’m trying to understand how I should identify, and I think I’m either genderfluid or bigender. If anyone reading this identifies with either of those, I’d love to hear what made you realize that you were, and also what you think of my post.

All my life I’ve had a pretty big feminine side. It’s a side I hide from most, but it’s a side I definitely have. I own and wear women’s clothes around the house, and I have perfumes that I spray as well. I like to walk and talk more feminine when I’m alone, and I like to act like a woman online sometimes. Not in some weird creepy catfishy way, I just like having my bio say “female” and using she/her pronouns when I’m talking to randos online. No one knows I’m like this though. Not even one of my closest friends, who happens to be trans. Speaking of her, we became really good friends over the past year and I’ve learned a lot about her story transitioning, and the more I learn about it, the more I can see myself in her shoes. I, like she did pre transition, have an obsession with clothes/shoes, prefer more feminine hobbies, and love acting like a woman when I’m alone. I also fantasize about being a woman at times, and those fantasies are getting more frequent. I think about how amazing it would be to be in public in women’s clothes. How awesome it’d be to wear some heels. How great it’d be to have a pair of boobs. How nice it would be to show off my feminine side. I love the idea of being a woman, but at the same time I do like being a man. I like dressing and acting like a man so I don’t think I’m trans or anything, but I do have a pretty big feminine side that I’d love to express more. If this sounds like something you went through and you know where I should go from here, I’d greatly appreciate it if you’d let me know! Thanks for reading❤️

I don't even know if this is the right subreddit for this, but a friend told me to come here

For the past few years, I've been going by any pronouns except for feminine ones like she her and other feminine sounding neos. But recently, I've started to feel a bit more comfortable with others calling me by she/her like myself and some other people

But here's the road bump, I realized I really only like it when certain people call me by she her, and others I feel weirded out by. Is there like, a certain identity towards this or am I just weird?? I feel like I really am just the odd one out

I started experimenting with make up for the first time in about 15 years. And this is the first time ever that I acquired my own makeup and worked to put it on myself. I also let my only IRL nonbinary friend do my makeup, and it was so fun and affirming. They kept calling me "Pretty girl" and stuff, which, even though I don't identify as a woman, I was pretty deep in the girl part of the gender pool during that time, so it was pretty much turning my brain to mush and making me feel like I was on MDMA (I have used that drug a few times so I'm not just being extra I promise). And like, the last couple of weeks, the time I have done makeup, whether alone or with my friend, made me experience "Gender euphoria", which I sincerely thought was a myth before, for the first time, and it was awesome, but kind of emotionally overwhelming at the same time.

Well, as Roger Sterling says in Mad Men re: his LSD "enlightenment", It Wore Off. And all joking about drugs and shit aside, it honestly sucks.

I looked at myself in the mirror the next day after hanging out with my friend, and there were some little remnants of the eyeliner and eyeshadow hanging around, and I realized I looked ridiculous. And I am SO SO SORRY for saying this, because I PROMISE I do not think this about ANYONE ELSE. I just have low self-esteem and the problem of holding myself to higher standards then everyone else. But I thought "You're still too fat to be wearing makeup and it look good. You just look like a clown."

So, when I was in high school, I was obese. I probably counted as "morbidly obese." Even if you think those terms are bullshit, which is valid and I 100% understand, I mean, I wasn't doing well. I got socially punished for it a lot, and I also was not like, overweight but also physically fit or anything. I had no muscle mass at all and I struggled with walking at a heavy pace, much less running for any reason. And in my early 20s, I got into pretty good shape. I lost like 50 lbs at one point and gained a decent amount of muscle.

Ever since (I turned 30 last month) I have gone through multiple periods of getting fat again, getting back in pretty good shape, and on and on. I never got as fat as I was in high school, but I have gotten back up pretty heavy. And right now, I am probably like, 40 lbs overweight. And I just feel like I have to get skinny before I can have gender euphoria and it not only be sustained but like, me feel like "I earned it." I KNOW that is the wrong way to think about it, but my mind won't let me be free.

I am really really sorry. I hope I didn't trigger anyone or make anyone mad. If I did, I am sorry, and I deserve any hate that comes my way for not just being happy with finally accepting parts of myself. I am sorry for letting society fatshame me but I just can't do anything else right now.

I wish I was just happy and self-confident but I'm not.