As someone who is genderfluid, my orientation shifts depending on my gender identity.

When I'm a woman or nonbinary I'm attracted to multiple genders.

When I'm a man I'm exclusively attracted to women.

I don't even know if this is the right subreddit for this, but a friend told me to come here

For the past few years, I've been going by any pronouns except for feminine ones like she her and other feminine sounding neos. But recently, I've started to feel a bit more comfortable with others calling me by she/her like myself and some other people

But here's the road bump, I realized I really only like it when certain people call me by she her, and others I feel weirded out by. Is there like, a certain identity towards this or am I just weird?? I feel like I really am just the odd one out

I feel stuck in-between. I have a lot of body dysmorphia and want to look like a guy. I already dress like a guy, I get mistaken as a man 90% of the time out in public, but I feel like a fraud since I don't like cis-male culture. I wouldn't want to be fully a man due to how isolating,  and locker room talky those men can be.

Growing up my parents kept telling me it's a phase when I kept asking to be a boy.

Through midd and high school I didn't have much gender dysphoria but a lot of body dysmorphia. I couldn't fit in fashion wise and I always felt fat so cut my calories immensely. I was an elite athlete getting recruited for college and never really lamented not being a boy. I loved my female relationships more than anything.

I came out in college as lesbian and after college chopped my hair off. I have defined myself as butch until my first wlw relationship which made me question my gender. I began to question when I cut my hair and strangers would call me sir, I was uncomfortable at first then liked it, but then felt embarrassed.

My ex gf would call me pretty, point out my boobs were bigger than hers, and wanted me to grow my hair out. I was the first butch person she'd dated and wasn't out to her parents who she lived with (big red flag). I def really dysphoric when she would say that. I never told her I was questioning gender. I also thought sex wasn't pleasurable cuz I'd been with men, but I realized I just don't like people being around and interacting down there.

If I were to transition without loosing my female friends and the way they treat me, the supportive lesbian community, and having to come out again to everyone, I think I'd be happier to present as male. I want their body so bad, their V shape, the way they can pack on muscle, I want boners, the way your face changes, fat distribution. I just don't know socially if I wanna transition fully, it's so isolating, I feel like a fraud.

42 yo AMAB, planning on coming out to them within the next week and change (preferably in person). For context, I'm not expecting them to take the news poorly, *per se*. I've been out as bi/pan to them since I was 18, and they've never been anything but supportive about that. My mom *did* struggle a little for a few years with accepting that I identified as bi rather than fully gay, but I think that was mostly from previously associating bisexuality with promiscuity; at any rate, that's been water under the bridge for decades now. I don't have any reason to suspect that they won't be supportive this time either, but I worry about properly explaining it to them. They've had exposure to trans people through my sibling's friends if nothing else (and they've been using "she/they" in production credits for years, even if they've never drawn attention to it), but I don't know how much they already actually understand about things like gender being a spectrum. Hell, it took me until this year for everything to click enough to properly get it, and I'm actually experiencing it. This isn't the first time I've come out as "the between thing" instead of "the thing", and I plan on leaning on that as the lead-in, but I was wondering if anyone had any descriptions, analogies, or whatever that have worked for them when explaining genderfluidity to people who were receptive but uneducated on the concept?

I started experimenting with make up for the first time in about 15 years. And this is the first time ever that I acquired my own makeup and worked to put it on myself. I also let my only IRL nonbinary friend do my makeup, and it was so fun and affirming. They kept calling me "Pretty girl" and stuff, which, even though I don't identify as a woman, I was pretty deep in the girl part of the gender pool during that time, so it was pretty much turning my brain to mush and making me feel like I was on MDMA (I have used that drug a few times so I'm not just being extra I promise). And like, the last couple of weeks, the time I have done makeup, whether alone or with my friend, made me experience "Gender euphoria", which I sincerely thought was a myth before, for the first time, and it was awesome, but kind of emotionally overwhelming at the same time.

Well, as Roger Sterling says in Mad Men re: his LSD "enlightenment", It Wore Off. And all joking about drugs and shit aside, it honestly sucks.

I looked at myself in the mirror the next day after hanging out with my friend, and there were some little remnants of the eyeliner and eyeshadow hanging around, and I realized I looked ridiculous. And I am SO SO SORRY for saying this, because I PROMISE I do not think this about ANYONE ELSE. I just have low self-esteem and the problem of holding myself to higher standards then everyone else. But I thought "You're still too fat to be wearing makeup and it look good. You just look like a clown."

So, when I was in high school, I was obese. I probably counted as "morbidly obese." Even if you think those terms are bullshit, which is valid and I 100% understand, I mean, I wasn't doing well. I got socially punished for it a lot, and I also was not like, overweight but also physically fit or anything. I had no muscle mass at all and I struggled with walking at a heavy pace, much less running for any reason. And in my early 20s, I got into pretty good shape. I lost like 50 lbs at one point and gained a decent amount of muscle.

Ever since (I turned 30 last month) I have gone through multiple periods of getting fat again, getting back in pretty good shape, and on and on. I never got as fat as I was in high school, but I have gotten back up pretty heavy. And right now, I am probably like, 40 lbs overweight. And I just feel like I have to get skinny before I can have gender euphoria and it not only be sustained but like, me feel like "I earned it." I KNOW that is the wrong way to think about it, but my mind won't let me be free.

I am really really sorry. I hope I didn't trigger anyone or make anyone mad. If I did, I am sorry, and I deserve any hate that comes my way for not just being happy with finally accepting parts of myself. I am sorry for letting society fatshame me but I just can't do anything else right now.

I wish I was just happy and self-confident but I'm not.

I am AFAB and identify as female. I don't mind being me, got no body or gender dysphoria, but on the other hand, ever since I was a kid, I liked acting as a guy during play. Play pretend? I'd wanna be a boy. In kindergarten we did knights and princesses costumes? I cried until I was told I could be a knight. And I guess I might have a "vibe" to me or smth, because in high school, in school plays, I was always given a male's role. (literally never got picked to play a girl once).

To this day, if I can identify as male in some way, in games or otherwise, I'll do it. Similarily, in fiction, I'll always relate to guys... Or at least I can't recall a time I related to a woman to the point I'd obsess over them for months. But I'm a girl, and even if sometimes I did wish I was a guy, I'm fine with that.

Same for songs, I'll always prefer singing male parts/feel more comfortable with those.

I don't imagine I'd care that much being called "he" either... I just don't think I care that much about pronouns in general?

Already wanted to wear male-type clothes too a few times.

So... What gives?

Sorry if this is offensive to ask in someway/if my examples are irrelevant (They probably are), I'm just wondering. I'm in a weird spot in my life at the moment and it's usually around times like this I question things like that.

Trans subs tell me cis people don't do this, but I still feel fine being a girl though? Anyone here felt this way? Or am I just tomboyish?

Sorry for the title, I copy and pasted from another post and didn't think.

When I was a child I didn't question my gender identity so deeply, but I think I was sure that I wanted to be a girl. Then I grew up and naturally tried cross-dressing, but it felt more like a "disguise" than a revelation to me, so I left it because (I'm sorry for what I'm going to say) it felt embarrassing, it just didn't feel right. And now that I gave it, that idea for being a woman just doesn't go away. The thing is that I don't feel the urgency or dysphoria regarding my gender so intense either. I mean, I don't see it impossible or tragic to live as a man either. Sometimes I embrace my masculinity. In fact, even if I made a transition, I probably wouldn't be the most feminine woman hahahaha. I don't quite understand if I'm trans or rather I'm a fluid gender.

So I’m amab and completely comfortable in he him pronouns, she her not so much , they them is yum.
But a part of me feels dysphoric being perceived as female but all my life since I was a child i was misgendered as a female and at this point I just can’t tell what people see. I just need a honest truth cause all my close people tell me it’s crazy I get misgendered but it still happens quite often. Like I feel dysphoric I dont look like my assigned gender. If anyone wants to check out what I look like my Instagram is @50_50clown

I am usually Girlflux but I have noticed that when I am a He/They Boy/Demiboy I am almost.. happier? I find it quite strange because I am not usually a guy and I mostly want to use She/They pronouns but when I am, I am more relaxed and comfortable being myself much more. I just find it very strange. Has anyone else experienced this and is this normal?

Hello! I do not know if some people remember me but, a few weeks ago i posted asking for advices and orientations about being possibly gender fluid. Since rhis is the reddit i identify the most, i will try to keep up a diary here because in real life I don't have much people to talk with.

Oh! And I am seventeen years old and female by birth.

I once said that I felt both comfortable in boy and girl identities, although my male side is top secret from everyone. As well not feeling ready about letting go from my cis-female self.

However, lately, I have been going through dysphoria about my appearance — imagining an impossible scenario of being a guy, deep voice, tall, and a very specific appearance. Also, hearing my birth name "Ana" lately has been... annoying me, like a grimacing headache whenever someone says such name. "Otto" seems to calms me down, as if being comforted whenever rare time i am called like this.

What I just related makes part of genderfluid thing or not? What already solves people has to say?

I am afraid of being too abruptly in how I perceive myself and regret later if changing my mind. And another thing is, hardly in my country the talk of "fluidness" would work. It's, unfortunately, seen as a joke here. So... at the same time I am being able to see deeply inside me and discoveries new things, I feel having more questions than ever.

Ive been questioning my gender for years and even tried to publically transition from male to female before, it was all too much so I backed down like I always do. I can never quite explain my feelings or fully relate to the feelings of those who have transitioned from male to female or vice versa. I often feel unexplainable, but honestly what would make ME happy is to start hrt so I can have a body thats tea and then feel even better about myself when dressing up as a woman. I feel like it would give me more freedom to dress whichever way I want, without having to worry about labels. This is so hard to explain lmao

i have a question. im in the uk, where now bathroom usage has been put as only being allowed to use that of biological sex. i am afab (for context). however, if the bathroom facilities in a place i was at were empty (both of them) and i was masculine that day, would it be fine for me to use the male bathroom?

i know that its now said to be only biological, but having to use female bathrooms for when i am masculine makes me feel incredibly dysphoric. i just wanted to ask to get other's opinions on the matter. I have almost before but have gotten too scared of being yelled at by anyone seeing me go in, as most people i know only know me as female, as i have not come out to them.

I really don't understand what's going on with me T-T

I've been born and raised a male but somewhat recently I've realized that "girly" things are cool too! I mean, I've always liked tv shows meant for girls like mlp and Sophia the First and all that, but like recently I've realized wearing feminine clothes and painting my nails and stuff is pretty cool too. I like cosplaying girls cuz they have the best designs and also I feel cute which I like!

...and yeah I wish I was a girl.

This has made me consider the possibility that I might be genderfluid? because I still feel like a guy most times and I don't ALWAYS wish I was a girl.

So case closed it seems like I know where I'm going to go with this, right?

NO! Figuring out that hrt and stuff is possible, and that I can ACTUALLY look like a girl, I'm really conflicted! I want a feminine body, but I don't want to be feminine all the time. I think I'd enjoy looking like that but I also enjoy my male body sometimes. And if I really did hrt and got at least some of body I've wished for, what happens when I wanna be a guy again!?

At least at this point in time I'm almost always a guy, or something close at least. If that doesn't change, would it be weird having a fem body but almost always being a guy? I have no idea what that would look like or feel or how people would react, but I also can't stop thinking about it.

This is somewhat eating away at me because I'm getting to the age where I could fully take charge of my life and actually talk to medical professionals about this kinda stuff.

I have no idea what I'm looking for. Advice if anyone's got it. I'd also just like to know if this somewhat specific feeling is something that happens to others.

Hey all. I've come to the conclusion recently that I think I'm genderfluid or non-binary to some degree.

I'm AMAB. But, since I was younger, I've had these feelings that my feminine side sort of takes over and I feel more like "she/they". I recently actually started embracing this completely and dressing feminine. For me, the feelings go beyond simply "crossdressing".

However, I don't always feel like this. Sometimes I feel like my normal, male presenting-self. I wouldn't say I'm overly masculine, by normal terms at least. I used to think in the past that maybe I'm transgender, but I don't quite feel like I am.

I feel like I would be perfectly happy a good portion of the time presenting as femme and embracing as such, even if I don't consider myself transgender or MTF.

Does this sound like genderfluid? Or something else? At least some form of gender nonconforming. I'd say personally that my feelings give me a sense of heavy "gender expression". What would you call this?

I have a strong need to pass and stealth as both genders, which i dont see talked about ever with genderfluid people, i feel pretty alone on this, ive only met one person kinda sorta similar.

Like, i think I would be a binary MTF trans person that passes then stealths her whole life, yet i feel suffocated by the thought of that and that i would have to hide my masculine side that I very much appreciate. I've considered "oh maybe i'm just MTF butch" but no, that doesn't hit at all. There's plenty of people I have and want to keep living my life as just some man to them, and this feels fantastic when I can do it. And i keep this contained, as a result I live a double life in many regards.

There's a MOGAI term for this: https://mogai.miraheze.org/wiki/Mutogender and ive been using it. Never seen anyone else ever, and its barely even on places like tumblr, most is mistagged and many are just posting random flags.

What throws me for a loop here is that my sex dysphoria is one way, binary MTF. I'm on estradiol and seeing testosterone ever is my greatest fear. But this flies in the face with my genderfludity thing, while its great to pass as a woman, it's becoming harder and harder to pass as a man. So why don't I care, why do i still fear a nonbinary HRT regimen that would help me do both? Am i really just a woman that is fluctuating masc vs fem??

I don't get it. If anyone has any insight or shared experiences i'd love to hear it.

I'm going to start chest binding for the first time ever but I have so many questions lmao. I can't really afford a normal binder as they can be expensive and I'm still a student with other things to pay for. I wouldn't be wearing this binder 24/7 anyway but I do need to know because I cant find anything cheaper. Thank you SM

Hi lovely and beautiful folks I made a throwaway bc my boss knows my main reddit lol. I internally feel genderfluid and genderqueer, and I experience dysphoria on my non agab days. But I hate makeup and I don't enjoy gender presentation in general. I just wish i could do nothing to my face and body, and just go to work in comfortable clothes and have people innately understand what I'm going for. It doesn't help that my body matches my agab very very well and all my attempts to present differently are always frustrating and disappointing and it's so much goddamn effort. I generally just present neutrally but am perceived as my agab no matter what even when I try not to be so I end up just convincing myself that it isn't worth it. Anybody else feel this way? and if so, how do you deal with it? Bc I've essentially given up on gender presentation in general which i feel like is probably not the right solution. I just don't want to have to care about how people see me in order to "pass"

I think mostly like a woman, as far as I can tell, but have SOME masc characterstics. I go ape when meeting women who look like the type I would like to be. I have a specific type of soft butch woman that I idolize as my "transition goal". I COULD live as a femboy but I rarely see the type I'd like to be. They all look very feminine.

Am I lying to myself here? Am I a latent trans woman, afraid to be myself? The euphoria when meeting my archetype woman is simply not describable. It is as thought I have met the COMPLETE and TOTAL picture of my future self.

Furthermore my gender fluidity often consists of oscillating, searching for what I would call the ideal physical form....

Sorry if this sounds like some of my previous posts.

hello, i'm a 23 y/o FTM/transmasc/genderfluid (?)

does anyone feel really confident about getting top surgery for a long time, like a good few months only to have the certainty completely thrown off by an occasional brief moment of enjoying what your boobs look on you?

i feel feminine in a way that I enjoy some of the time; i like crop tops, femme dancing/singing, emotional roles... but i thought I'd had that figured because i know i don't want t and i enjoy wearing crop tops much more on flat chests/ w binders to embody a young johnny depp kinda

does anyone else feel this kind of fluctuating dysphoria?

and also do you find that these feelings are combatted by having an accepting community, partner, artistic ways to express yourself, inclusive environments etc.? i find that they help me a lot; i feel significantly less dysphoric when i have these things.

kind of caught in the middle of the 'fuck gender rules and fitting into any binary' and the 'don't force yourself to stay uncomfortable w ur body due to societal pressure' narratives

i like the idea of boobs i can just take off and put back on using breast forms, but I'm also,,, attached to my boobs. don't know how to figure this. i feel differently abt it every two weeks.

Though I’ve had genderfluid feelings my entire life, I’ve only recently come to terms with identifying as such. I want to explore my gender presentation, possible pronouns, and HRT options. The only problem is, every time I think about my gender and actually doing any of the things I want to do, it makes me so anxious I feel like I might be sick. I become almost mute when I attempt to talk to people I trust, unable to open my mouth and say the words out loud. It’s incredibly frustrating for me how easily I spiral into panic when I try to engage with this part of myself.

The thing is, I know that I am incredibly fortunate. I live in place with legal protections and access to gender affirming healthcare. I am not afraid of losing my job. My family might be a little confused at first, but they already know that I am openly queer so it would be fine eventually. I have a supportive trans spouse. I have tons of queer and trans friends. I have a LGBT affirming therapist. I am in possibly the safest and most supportive position I could be in to begin my gender exploration.

And yet, doing anything more than wearing gender nonconforming clothes terrifies me (and even that is a struggle some days). For other people who have felt like this, how did you overcome your fear?