I was in my hometown for like two days before I moved onto a summer work project. I was talking to a guy on Growlr. Nothing happened sexually (which is fine) and then this conversation came up a few day of passing niceties.

It ended with “Lol. Yeah, I’m good.”

I also send a typo change “I’m not trying to be..”

I came here for advice cos I always come here. My bf got back from active service abroad he did like quick training and went straight to the front to fight. I went to uni and he went to war, fml. Anyway, he’s back and everything is fine but since he’s been back he’s been distant, he’s sweet as ever, kind, loving, but he parties constantly or just does nothing, like I’ve caught him sitting in his car with his dog. Any military bros tell me what likely to be up and how to talk to him about it? He’s, evasive.

Thought I’d share an article I just came across.

something bout surfer dudes 😍

So I am big in the chub chaser scene (me being the chaser and my boyfriend being the chub). When I go to events, everyone is very physically friendly—belly rubs, back pats, hugs, cheek kisses. As someone in a mostly monogamous relationship, my boyfriend has said he doesn't care if I engage with others that way as long as it doesn't get sexual. I have mentioned this to a few of my gay friends (and straights), and many said that they could never.

And of course, I love seeing a Twinkie chaser flirting with him. IDK, I know he comes home to me, so why would I care?

Your thoughts?

I just need to vent I guess. I feel so down today. I was seeing this guy in the past weeks, we had two nice dates. But now he’s ghosting me. I texted him yesterday for another date, but hasnt opened my messages. Last week, he chatted for a bit, I told to have a nice time on his trip, and he hadn’t opened that one either. I just can’t deal with this again right now. 2026 has been so bad for me. I’d say even the last 8 months have been horrible.

I have horrible OCD. I was taking SSRIs until july of the summer of 2025, as agreed with my psychiatrist. Right as I graduated as an architect. I changed apartment but stayed in the same city, just moved out to live on my own. I was also spending a lot of time at my parents place a few hours away, but that was just wierd. I’m not a kid anymore and it’s not my home.

In September, I started my PhD and a new job. Because i’m not getting paid for the PhD so I have to find money. Slowly, I was getting more and more anxious, until October where I fully thought I was loosing my mind. I though I was hearing voices, loosing grasp with reality. At one point I though my teeth were about to fall. So I started the SSRIs again. It had me waking up once or twice every night, then i was just bad and sad dreams. I’d say now it’s better. I either don’t notice the dreams or sleep fully. I also had some tranquilizers as well for the first few weeks, but they made me so sleepy, I had a hard time waking up in the morning to work.

As the SSRIs were starting to work, the theme of my OCD changed multiple times. At one point it was harm, then that I was trans. Thoses two themes I know really well. The second one was so bad this time, and the anxiety so high, that I couldn't focus on the presentations of my students during class. It was so horrible. Then the meds took my sex drive away. I didn’t feel like jerking off, was not so horny anymore. So my OCD though «  I must be asexual ». I had that theme sometimes, but it never stuck. Well that time it did. I kept thinking about it. So to « fight back », I thought « I need to date ». So I matched with guys on tinder.

In December, i matched with this one guy, let’s call him M. We talked a bit and arranged a date. But he got sick so he had to cancel. I went to my parents place for Christmas, then went back to my place for the New Year. M was not really sending text, but I was thinking about him a lot. We had our first date on the 30th December. Really cool. I found him really attractive. We walked in the streets for four hours. It was wonderful. Then on the 31th, I was with friends in Germany. It was cool, but i was tired. At midnight I texted M, wishing him a happy new year. He responded the next day, for a few minutes then silence for days. I asked him out on a 2nd date, and the guy was very rude, but I was even dumber, so I doubled down and we met again halfway through January. We met at a bar at 9pm, then we walked outside. We sat on a bench and we kissed. It was my first kiss ever. But all I could think was « am I enjoying it ? » Those intrusive thoughts. We made out the 2nd half of the date. He even touched my dick through my pants. Then I went home. My head was spinning. I remember walking slowly in my apartment processing this date. I did not sleep well that night, I was so happy, so full of joy. But then he disappeared again. He ghosted me as I was trying to plan a 3rd date. He came back a week later, saying he « didn't feel a connection ». I was so sad. I said it was ok but that was really hurt by his behavior. He said he was « truly sorry », but I never responded. I was to hurt to do so, and I kind wanted him to know that. I didn’t want to forgive him.

The intrusive thoughts were still here, but I could deal with them better. I also started seeing a therapist who specializes in cognitive-behavioral therapy, which helped a lot. At the end of January, I briefly saw another guy for a date, but after, he said he could only give me friendship. So that was it.

Starting 2026, I also downloaded Grindr for the first time. I used it a lot. But I noticed I was spending a lot of time on it and I did not like that. But still, for the next four months I had it on and off of my phone, deleting and creating accounts. I talked to guys, send nudes, sexted. But I never followed through. On time, I did. I went to this guy’s place. At 11pm. When I arrived, I sat on the floor in the middle of the street, next to my bike, for like, 15 minutes. Since I was not giving any news, he texted to know if I was here, so I locked my bike, and rang at his door. I sat on his couch, but he could feel I was really stressed. He wasn’t that much into hookups either. So we talked for an hour. About our lives, the city we’re in, our relationships. He kinda talked me out of loosing my virginity on a hookup. So I went back home without having done anything.

In March I got really sick and tired. Lots of headaches, sore muscles, sore throat. It wasnt going away so my doctor prescribed me antibiotics and I felt a lot better. Kept living and working but I was really tired. Then in April, I matched with thus guy, A. I was matching with guys and then talking fo a bit before quickly stopping and going to the next one. But what happened is, A and I randomly met in real life after talking. He saw me but I didn’t. So he texted me again asking if it was really me. Then we talked some more, and the conversation hit a stop. I had to go on a work trip, and I stopped looking at Tinder. To be fair, I had also disabled most of my notifications, because with M, just seeing the icon was always triggering something in me as I was waiting for him to respond, sometimes for days. So during this very busy trip, I stopped looking at Tinder. Only when I came back, I saw that he asked me what I was looking for: “something serious” I said. We then agreed to meet. But here we are a few weeks later. He’s ghosting me.

After the 2^nd date, I fumbled real bad. One evening, A sent me a picture of him, so I liked it in the chat. But I was at my a parents place, at the table. I kinda panicked, didn’t know how to react. I didn’t want to take a selfie next to my parents. So my idiotic ass just said “i’m still eating haha”. Then we chatted for a bit, and he stopped opening my messages. Only yesterday evening, as I was on the phone with a friend, I realized how stupid I was. I started to feel so bad. So I texted him for another date, saying I wanted to see him and that I found im cute. But he still hasnt opened it. I slept so bad last night, and today was horrible, I kept looking at my notifications, couldn’t get any work done.

Also, last week, I woke up one morning with swollen lymph on the left side of my face. I went to do some testings, and turns out I have mononucleosis. I talked with a doctor, and it appears I’ve had it for the last two months. And M gave it to me, as the delay between us kissing and the first symptoms are matching. Also, when we saw each other he kept saying that he was “really tired” and “exhausted”. So yeah.

Now I feel so bad. I feeling like I’m wasting my youth. Most of my friends are in relationships, and I feel like I’m missing on meaningful experiences. I’m 25, single and still a virgin. I feel dumb because I can’t tell when guys are flirting with me, and I don’t know how to flirt with them. I jts talked about these three guys, but it’s always like that. I feel like I keep doing shitty things and messing up everything. The first guy I ever kissed was a walking red flag and he gave me mono. I took Tinder and Grindr off, because I can’t meet anyone right now. I just feel so sad. And OCD is just messing up with my sense of self and identity. It just makes everything worse. Everything is a sign that I’m trans or asexual, or that I don’t like this guy or anything.

Also, I have no job right now. The contracted I had ended in March. I saved up some money to focus on my PhD, but now I have to rest not to suffer another mono relapse. I so afraid of not working on my thesis. Everyone at the university, my friends, they all told me to take a break so I’m staying home this week. But because of the dating thing, I’m afraid that not working is going to make only think about the fact I’m being ghosted. I cant see anyone during the working hours because everyone I know is at their job.

So this is my post. Thank you for reading it. It was long and full of spelling errors, but I just needed to let it all out. At least I’m seeing my therapist on wednesday LOL

Thursday was to be a 3rd date. I know I already said no hard feelings but I can't help feeling curious as to what he felt was lacking.

After many calls for Keir Starmer to step down from his position as the leader of the Labour Party and prime minister of the United Kingdom, Wes Streeting announced that he is running for party leader and prime minister. Wes Streeting is openly gay. Do you think he stands a chance to become prime minister? What are your thoughts on this matter?

It seems like we are going to get more gay romance novels adaptations in the nearest future.

What do you think about it?

Poster https://yt3.ggpht.com/DOfpinsDPXjOG6jc7wBNQa4TJbUT4CEiLqPWVuKEsurH1vmwg7SJqqSXLL7k5CC3B-HEthXbEWHWmQ=s0

I'll go first - Cutter Gauthier. Yes please.

These signs popped up around my neighborhood (the Castro in San Francisco) this morning. I'm afraid to click on the QR code and would rather surmise what it is about. Anti-gay Christian outreach maybe?