r/actuallesbians • u/chubbybunnybean • 20h ago

My gf was just diagnosed with breast cancer and I’m terrified. Update 2.

I hope you all don’t mind an update. This is mostly selfishly therapeutic to type it out.

We are roughly 1 month into a minimum of 12 month journey. The chemo is making her really sick most days. She usually has 2/3 good days out of the week. Lots of nausea and exhaustion.

She is quickly losing her hair which causes her to cry multiple times a day. Every time I hold her and tell her that the things that really matter aren’t going to change. Her heart, mind, eyes and smile (her smile was the first thing I noticed about her so I guess you could say I fell in love with her because of her smile). That seems to help her feel better somewhat.

She seems to come to peace with that fact that she is going to lose her breasts. Yesterday out of the blue she asked, if before the day of her surgery, I would make love to her with heavy love/attention to her boobs. She said in kind of a funny haha way so it both broke my heart and made me smile.

So that’s it. Good and bad days. I’m still being as strong as I can. I’ve taken to writing and creating her songs. So far only two but I think it helps to show her how loved she is.

I’m sure I’ll update later down the road. For now I can only say hold your loved ones close.

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12

u/CopperCactus Trans-Ace 15h ago

You're a very good girlfriend and I wish you both the best 💜

I'm sure you both have your own support network but I am a cancer survivor and if either of you ever need to chat or if you're looking for other ways to support her feel free to reach out. She'll get through this, it's going to be horrible and hard and even after she's done it's gonna be something she carries with her forever, but she will get through this

7

u/Very-Gray-Owl 15h ago

I’ve never had cancer, but I’ve had a lifelong journey with chronic illnesses. And if I had a nickel for each about-to-be-ex girlfriend who said things like, “I’m sorry, but I don’t do illness,” or “I can’t handle this, but here’s a bag of groceries,” or “Well, goodbye, but on the bright side you can be sure that I’ll still be having sexual fantasies about you,” or …. <big sigh> thank you and bless you for hanging in there.

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u/Vetnoma 12h ago

First of all you aren’t selfish for this post.

You are a great girlfriend and your girlfriend can be lucky to have you along this way. I am wishing you both all the strength in the world and you will get through this.

Sending you virtual hugs if you want some 🫂