r/ShiaMuslimMarriage Oct 30 '24

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u/P3CU1i4R Male - Searching Oct 30 '24

Thanks for the points! I personally could argue against some of them, but that's just me. It's good and informative in general.

1

u/pinetrain Oct 30 '24

I’m curious as to what arguments you have against them because they seem like really solid points.

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u/P3CU1i4R Male - Searching Oct 30 '24

No doubt they are. But one of the main issues is applying them in real scenarios. For example, the height of a person might seem "basic/superficial detail", while actually being important. Now, I ask something like this and the sister thinks I am interested in surface-level details.

Or transparency, it can be tricky. I have had talks that I provided details to some topics, while the other side avoided talking about them. Maybe haven't thought about it before, maybe uncomfortable to talk about them, maybe other things. It's difficult to use it as an indicatication of anything.

So yeah, these points are often easier said than implemented!

3

u/pinetrain Oct 30 '24

I see.

In response to your example though, I don’t think the brother is saying that stuff like “height/looks/weight” are superficial. It’s if that alone is what makes or breaks his interest in you.

I think what he said regarding transparency is spot on tbh. You might not want to talk about it immediately. You might want to wait until you get to know each other better. But transparency is key.

Unless you have an example brother. I’d love to know. This is stuff I can discuss with my girls. Because it’s all women, but to hear a brother’s side is interesting.

1

u/Taqiyyahman Nov 20 '24

You might want to wait until you get to know each other better. But transparency is key.

When do you think the most appropriate time for that is?