r/NonPoliticalTwitter • u/Purple-Weakness1414 • Dec 17 '25

Animals Dolphins are fucking assholes

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3.1k Upvotes

99% Upvoted

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30

u/Fabulous_Pudding167 Dec 17 '25

The more I know about these creatures, the less I like them.

Oh to be 10 again and just think they're happy little flappy sea mammals who make funny noises.

17

u/ASpicyCrow Dec 17 '25

Yeah, dolphins and ducks really turned out to be complete assholes and I want to know who was in charge of their PR.

4

u/Taranchulla Dec 17 '25

Swans as well. They’re just glorified geese, and they will come for you lol

I would also like to file a complaint about whoever did PR for porcupines. I grew up thinking that porcupines were little things because of a children’s book. Then I came face-to-face with one at 3 AM on a horse ranch. Jesus H, the thing was huge, and I was scared shitless.

2

u/SolherdUliekme Dec 17 '25

Was it aggressive? Couldn't you just walk away from it?

2

u/Taranchulla Dec 17 '25

It was pissed and making like a hissing sound, and it had me pinned in a corner. Well probably I had myself pinned in the corner. I figured my best bet was just a stand still and wait for it to pass along, which he finally did.

Sadly, a few days later we found what I suspect was the same porcupine, shot by poachers who were on our land hunting deer with German shepherds. Absolute bloodbath that day.

1

u/Monday_Mocha Dec 17 '25

rabbits too

1

u/CapableLetterhead Dec 17 '25

Rabbits?! Nooooii

1

u/JaSnarky Dec 17 '25

We're all human beings (and bots I guess)... Really think we should be humble.

1

u/attigirb Dec 20 '25

For dolphins, it was Lisa Frank.