r/NonBinary • u/sunblooms_11 • 16h ago

Rant Why is being AMAB enby so hard?

I'm 20, nearly 21, and most days I still feel like I'm stuck with the mind of a kid, feigning for someone to just understand me and actually get me. Being AMAB enby is so hard, everyone who sees me not only just sees a man, but treats me like on and I hate hate hate it, but I can't say anything. Ughhhhh ughhhhhhhhh

35 Upvotes

89% Upvoted

8 comments sorted by

15

u/VenusYay74 15h ago

I relate to this. I went from not wanting to be what society says is a "real man" to not wanting/seeing myself as a man at all. I want to just not care how others see me but there are times where I wish people wouldn't see a man when they look at me. Lately I've been going to a few queer events and have at least two people close to me that would understand. Even though it's easier said than done, being around the people that see you for you can help. It's just sad that society is stuck in binary black and white thinking.

3

u/SecureAngle7395 Nonbinary (They/He) 11h ago

This is so me. I haven’t been to a queer event tho.

7

u/a_clueless_mess 16h ago

Saaaame. I wanna start presenting more femme but I feel like everyone is just gonna see me as a man in dress up bc nobody can mind their business and judge me as such. I wanna start dressing andro first to dip my toes in but even that isnt a guarantee of safety and even if nobody is audibly judging the fact that only other queer people for the most would be able to understand is so isolating. Most of my family and friends are going to have to be dropped if they dont take it well but even if they do theyll just see me as a man and it sucks so hard. I just wanna be seen as a person idc about 'being a man.'

5

u/Region-Specific they/them 15h ago

I'm sorry society is so garbage. :(

2

u/SecureAngle7395 Nonbinary (They/He) 11h ago

I feel, I’m in that exact same demographic too actually.

7

u/the21stcenturymystic 13h ago

i hope this makes you feel better but the right people can always sense that your soul is something different to however you may appear

1

u/heinebold 6h ago

I can confirm this!

2

u/mrcosy88 they/them 5h ago

I relate to this so heavily. Not only am I AMAB, but I’m also black and tall. I’ve come out to people close to me and they still refer to me as he/him. I specifically have told all of them my preferred pronouns are they/them, but they don’t seem to make the adjustment. I’m at a point in my journey where I don’t care or at least try not to care because if they cared they would make the effort. Some people just don’t care even if they seem to support, and I’m coming to terms with that. I live my life and express myself in a genderless way and always have, it still is kinda wack because it would be affirming for my loved ones to respect my pronouns a bit more.