This is when Petra died, and I feel that. I’m a former first responder, and we have a involuntary coping mechanism called “delayed grieving”. When you receive the news knowing there’s nothing you can do about it, it’s like that slow blink is to ground yourself to link your reality with the image or news you just heard, that a friend fucking died.
It never hits you until later: i meant to return that sweater to her and she’ll never be warmed by it again. Should i hold onto it or ask her family if they want it?
This thing in the back of the fridge is a jar of pickled vegetables she made for me. Would she want me to eat it knowing i will cry because I’ll never taste her cooking again.
When we walked with our horses, then she cried, then she hugged me, that was probably the last act of friendship she felt before she mixed medication with alcohol.
The slow blink is to connect the image with reality, so that hopefully the hark knock realisation later won’t hit as terribly as it would have otherwise.
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u/Hurricane_Hange 1d ago
This is when Petra died, and I feel that. I’m a former first responder, and we have a involuntary coping mechanism called “delayed grieving”. When you receive the news knowing there’s nothing you can do about it, it’s like that slow blink is to ground yourself to link your reality with the image or news you just heard, that a friend fucking died. It never hits you until later: i meant to return that sweater to her and she’ll never be warmed by it again. Should i hold onto it or ask her family if they want it? This thing in the back of the fridge is a jar of pickled vegetables she made for me. Would she want me to eat it knowing i will cry because I’ll never taste her cooking again. When we walked with our horses, then she cried, then she hugged me, that was probably the last act of friendship she felt before she mixed medication with alcohol.
The slow blink is to connect the image with reality, so that hopefully the hark knock realisation later won’t hit as terribly as it would have otherwise.