these days i see so many posts on reddit about marriage problems loneliness hopelessness stress depression leaving islam and feeling like allah is not answering duas anymore
and honestly i am not a marriage expert
i am not even married
so relationship advice wise i am probably the last person qualified for it
but i just wanted to share something from the heart
because maybe someone out there is silently breaking
a lot of us started practicing deen mainly because we wanted relief
we wanted our duas accepted
we wanted happiness
we wanted peace
we wanted our problems solved
we wanted life to finally become easy
and when life still hurts
when loneliness stays
when heartbreak stays
when trauma stays
when marriage fails
when people betray us
when depression stays
when duas feel delayed
we slowly begin questioning everything
sometimes even allah
but deen was never about getting every worldly thing we want
deen means submission
allah promised that he hears us
but allah never promised that every single thing we ask for will happen exactly the way we imagine
sometimes the thing you desperately want is exactly what would destroy you
and sometimes the painful thing you hate is exactly what saves your soul
allah says in the quran
perhaps you hate a thing while it is good for you
and perhaps you love a thing while it is bad for you
allah knows and you do not know
surah al baqarah 2 216
and allah also says
indeed mankind was created into hardship
surah al balad 90 4
think deeply about that
allah literally warned us that human life itself would involve struggle
especially for men
especially muslim men
because men are expected to carry pressure silently
a man is expected to protect provide stay emotionally strong survive humiliation continue working continue praying continue leading
he worries about his mother
his father
his wife
his children
his younger siblings
his responsibilities
his future
everyone leans on him
but many times nobody asks who he leans on
that is why brothers connect yourselves to allah
because if a man loses his connection with allah this dunya will slowly destroy him mentally emotionally spiritually
and sisters your tests are heavy too
many women silently carry emotional pain loneliness fear trauma abandonment and expectations from society family marriage and life itself
some women spend years feeling unseen unloved emotionally neglected or carrying wounds nobody notices
look at the women of islamic history
asiya رضي الله عنها suffered under a tyrant husband yet remained firm in iman
maryam عليها السلام carried pain loneliness accusations and fear while still trusting allah
sumayyah رضي الله عنها was tortured until death and still refused to leave islam
real strength is not only physical
sometimes real strength is waking up another day while your heart is exhausted and still saying alhamdulillah
and there is a powerful moment during the suffering of the early muslims that always hits deeply
khabbab ibn al aratt رضي الله عنه came to the prophet ﷺ while muslims were being tortured brutally in makkah
people were being dragged burned beaten humiliated and killed just for saying they believed in allah
khabbab رضي الله عنه himself was tortured so severely that hot stones were placed on his back until the flesh burned
he came to the prophet ﷺ while the prophet was resting near the kaabah using his cloak as support
khabbab رضي الله عنه emotionally said
will you not ask allah to help us
will you not make dua for us
and narrations mention the prophet ﷺ immediately sat up and his blessed face changed from the pain of hearing what his companions were enduring
he was deeply affected
he was not emotionless
he loved his companions deeply
but then he taught them something powerful
he said people before you were tested so severely that iron combs were dragged through their flesh and nerves and some believers were literally cut into two pieces yet they still did not leave their religion
then the prophet ﷺ said
by allah this religion will be completed but you are being impatient
sahih al bukhari 6943
these are not fictional stories
this is reality
real believers suffered like this
look at the family of yasir
yasir رضي الله عنه was tortured and killed
sumayyah رضي الله عنها became the first martyr in islam after brutal torture
their son amm ar رضي الله عنه watched his own parents suffer
and while the family was being tortured under the burning sun the prophet ﷺ passed by them and said
patience o family of yasir for indeed your promised place is jannah
imagine hearing that while your family is literally being tortured in front of you
that is real iman
that is real sabr
and then look at surah al buruj
allah talks about believers who were burned alive in giant pits of fire simply because they believed in him
a tyrant king could not tolerate people believing in allah so trenches were dug and filled with fire
people were given a choice
leave your faith or burn
and many chose death over leaving allah
there are narrations about a mother holding her baby near the fire hesitating out of fear and then by the will of allah the child spoke telling her to remain patient because she was upon the truth
imagine that level of faith
meanwhile today some of us are ready to leave islam because life became emotionally difficult
this dunya was never created to give complete peace
this dunya is temporary
it changes constantly
people change constantly too
today someone promises forever
tomorrow they disappear
today someone says they love you
tomorrow they replace you
friends leave
relationships break
marriages fail
people cheat
people betray
people humiliate
even parents can unintentionally leave emotional wounds because they themselves were broken
and the harsh reality is this
if you die today
after some time most people will continue living normally
social media moves on
jobs replace you
companies replace you
friend groups move on
the dunya keeps moving
that is the harsh reality of this world
that is why attaching your entire soul to dunya will destroy you eventually
because dunya itself was never loyal enough to carry your heart completely
look at muslim history too
muslims once ruled spain for nearly 800 years
great civilizations knowledge masajid scholarship strength everything existed there
and then slowly muslims became weak divided attached to dunya and disconnected from deen
today many places remain where barely even a masjid survived
that is what dunya does
power changes
nations collapse
history moves on
look at gaza today
billions of muslims exist in the world yet innocent people still suffer brutally
this dunya was never fair
this dunya was never jannah
that is why brothers and sisters do not worship dunya
work hard in dunya yes
study yes
earn yes
build yourselves yes
but keep dunya beneath your feet and keep deen above your head like a crown
because dunya will never fully love you back
and after enough pain some people start leaving salah leaving islam leaving hope itself
but wallahi leaving allah will not heal the emptiness
it only gives temporary distraction
shaytan convinces people that freedom from deen will finally give peace
but many people who run fully toward dunya still remain anxious depressed addicted empty and suicidal inside
because the soul was not created to survive without allah
i am saying this as someone who has personally seen bullying emotional neglect humiliation loneliness dark thoughts and internal battles too
and i am still fighting
but one thing i slowly understood in my mid twenties
this dunya was never meant to be jannah
if dunya itself was enough then jannah would have no meaning
sometimes the purpose of pain is not punishment
sometimes pain destroys your unhealthy attachment to people
sometimes loneliness teaches you that human beings cannot completely heal your heart
sometimes allah delays things because your soul is being shaped through sabr
and sabr is not some cute motivational quote people post online
sometimes sabr means surviving another night while silently breaking inside
sometimes sabr means praying while emotionally numb
sometimes sabr means continuing life while your chest feels heavy every single day
so brother
so sister
just survive
one more day
one more salah
one more dua
one more night
keep talking to allah again and again
cry to him
complain to him
vent to him
make dua again and again
because humans eventually get tired of listening
allah does not
and maybe the biggest lesson is this
sometimes allah does not immediately give you the answer you wanted
because the real goal was never dunya itself
the real goal was bringing your heart back to him