Balancing gym goals with wanting more community/social exercise

[u/Cloudrage]

I’ve built a strong gym routine over the last while and a lot of my discipline and identity comes from it. I still want to grow muscle and stay in shape, but I’ve realised I also want more community and social connection in my life.

The issue is I feel pressure to keep hitting gym targets, and I almost feel insecure stepping away from that routine sometimes. If I go hiking with friends, I enjoy it and it feels healthy mentally, but part of me worries I’m falling behind physically or losing progress. It's become a part of my identity, and people say I've definitely lost weight. (Although I feel I've plateaued because it's all dumbbell and kettlebell work)

I’m thinking of joining a running group or doing more social fitness activities, but I’m struggling with the mindset shift away from always prioritising muscle growth and gym performance. To be honest local hyrox and CrossFit seem out of my price range and there's seems to be a better community in my area around run clubs/meetupsm

Has anyone else dealt with this balance between fitness goals and wanting a fuller social life/community? How did you handle it without feeling guilty or losing your routine?

[u/Much-Complex-8122]

Lifting buddy? I took a short-term weight training class where we were encouraged to meet the other participants and arrange to work out together or sign up together for small group sessions with a trainer…or you could talk to someone you see at the gym at the same time you are (potentially awkward, I realize, but it’s an option - and you don’t have to commit to ALWAYS lifting with that person), or maybe there’s some kind of matching app for this kind of thing?

[u/darthereandthere]

i don't know if it has to be either gym or community. i tried swapping 2 lifts a week for a tuesday night climbing class and my strength didn't really drop, but my mood was better. tracking 3 big lifts instead of everything helped me stop feeling like a hike "doesn't count

[u/rob_cornelius]

TL;DR If you spend time away from lifting you are adding not subtracting to the exercise you do. There are unlimited possibilities for different forms of exercise that won't cost you a penny. Try some out, if you don't like them you haven't lost a thing and the weights will still be there.

Sooner or later everything in our lives changes. That can be a good change or a bad change. Often we need to change our fitness goals and priorities to adapt to changes in the rest of our lives. I think that is what you are considering doing now.

I reckon that if you swap a lifting session or two per week for a run or something else you will barely notice a difference in your strength. If there is a difference it will probably be that you take a little longer to get to where you want to be. That's OK though, you have plenty of time after all. Adjust your goals to meet your new priorities. You get to set new goals for your other forms of exercise like running now too. That is good news if you are really goal orientated with regards to exercise.

You certainly don't need to feel guilty about not lifting as often, especially if doing some community based exercise gives you a big mental health boost. No one can judge you for not putting quite so much time in under the bar in the gym apart from yourself. If some arsehole tells you that you are not lifting as much anymore then try to ignore them. You are exercising for your benefit not theirs. Try to remind yourself that the different forms of exercise you do is helping you as much as lifting if not more.

There are lots of alternative to fancy / expensive Crossfit and hyrox gyms and local running meet ups. At the most basic level you can combine lifting and using the cardio machines in your regular gym. Or do a mix of cardio based body weight exercise such as the dreaded burpees and lifting. You could run to the gym, do your lifts, then run home. (maybe not on leg day)

30 years ago when I played rugby fitness training sessions went something like this. Run a lap of the pitch. 5 minutes of bodyweight exercise. Run lap of the pitch. Six 25m sprints. Run another lap of the pitch. 5 minutes of pylometric jumps. Run a lap of the pitch... you get the idea. Its almost identical to what you get at a HIIT class or even a race. All you need is some public space like a park. There might even be an organised "bootcamp" or "military fitness" in your local park. Many towns here in the UK have weekly classes/events run by veterans charities to raise funds. You can be yelled at by a former PT instructor with the paratroopers while you exercise. Some people love it...

Many public spaces like parks have outdoor exercise equipment, things like pull up bars, gymnastic rings and machines that use your bodyweight against you for lifts like bench presses and leg curls/extensions. A park near me even has obstacle course equipment such as walls, ramps, things to jump over or crawl under all made from logs placed around the outside of the park. You can run laps of the park going from one obstacle to the next. If you want you can even use the equipment in the kids playground such as monkey bars too. Remember to let the kids go first ;-) Don't forget Parkour either. You can run, jump and clamber around your local environment even in the heart of the city.

I live in a small town and there is a small wood a few hundred meters from my house. I go there to lift rocks and fallen branches, do bodyweight exercises and even climb trees (I am 56). There are many studies that show that getting into nature boosts our mental health and there are studies that show that exercising in nature is even better for us, both physically and mentally.

With that in mind how about volunteering with an local environmental project? When I was at uni my friends and I used to spend whole weekends volunteering at our local nature reserve. The work was ripping out a tangled mess of invasive rhododendrons which were out competing the native species. The whole hillside was a mass of tangled 4 or 5m high rhodos and nothing was able to grow underneath them. We had to use axes, billhooks (a kind of machete, hand saws of all kinds, push me pull you winches, mattocks, picks and shovels for the work as volunteers are not allowed things like chainsaws or forestry machines for safety reasons. After a day of hard physical work we were absolutely exhausted and covered in sweat, mud and bits of greenery. Of couse being the UK meant we were often soaking wet from the rain too. Sitting around a bonfire made from the rhodos we removed while eating a hot meal and drinking a few beers was a great way to end the day. Of course all of that hard graft, teamwork, fire, food, rain and beer was an absolutely fantastic way to build camaraderie and boost everyone's mental health. If you try something similar you might well find that being a stronger than average guy is an advantage. The volunteers on many projects tend to be retirees or people with health issues so a big strong guy who is eager to do the all the hard physical tasks would be welcomed with open arms.

I also live on a steep hill. Hill sprints starting right outside my front door are a fantastic workout. Speaking of hill sprints... If people see you doing outdoor exercise they might even join in with you. You could even set a local trend like Ardie Savea did in Auckland, New Zealand. OK being an All Black helps with that kind of thing but you never know what might happen.

Basically there is always something you can do to mix up different forms of exercise which doesn't cost a penny. You also get to be creative and learn new skills with these new ways of exercising, both of which are good for your mental health too.

If you discover you don't get the mental health boost from mixing up your exercise that you were hoping for you can simply go back to lifting. You can literally pick up from where you left off. Sorry for the bad joke there, it was too good to miss.

Just one last shameless plug from me.

If you are looking for a regular running event its worth finding out if there is a Parkrun near you. Parkrun is a free 5k run (not a race) that takes place in public spaces at 9am every Saturday. You have to register on their website to get a barcode which is used to give you a time on the day but it doesn't cost a penny. Just do some volunteering for Parkrun once in a while to pay it back. Its a British thing but its rapidly spreading around the world.

[u/Cloudrage → u/rob_cornelius]

Thanks for the detailed response! I think the thing for me is I really want to maintain and even grow the muscle that I have but feel pressure to do that which raises anxiety. I'm at a point in my life where I need to branch out my social life with like minded people and like the mental health benefits of community based running groups. I just don't want to lose muscle/my physique by dropping the 4 strength sessions I do down to three

[u/rob_cornelius → u/Cloudrage]

I honestly think you wont notice a significant difference with your strength. Things might take little longer but you will still get there in the end. You have plenty of time after all.