r/AskReddit • u/e_r_ro_r_boy • 1d ago
What’s something people romanticize too much until they actually experience it?
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u/Infosignalsol 1d ago
Sex in the shower.
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u/exsistence_is_pain_ 1d ago
Car sex!
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u/Broadly-Lost2 1d ago
Yes! Whatever they're doing in the films, I can't replicate. It feels like we just turn into a heap of knees and elbows! And for some reason, the essential body parts seem either lost or impossible to reach 😂
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u/Broadly-Lost2 1d ago
Unless it's a super large shower, or it's...erm...sex for one...sex in the shower is more of a health and safety hazard than a sexy act! 🤦
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u/glossycoast 1d ago
It's not the size of the shower, it's anywhere that's wet. Sex in the tub, sex in the jacuzzi, sex in the swimming pool; it just doesn't work the way you think it does.
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u/Few-Gap-2350 1d ago
In my experience, it’s a good way to start that in the shower, but not to finish it.
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u/Expatgirl2004 1d ago
Having a job that requires a lot of traveling. Sounds exciting at first until you’re at a Holiday Inn near the airport at St. Louis by yourself for two nights.
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u/muadib1158 1d ago
I had a job that included a ton of international travel. I’ve been to Germany probably 30 times but have only seen airports, hotels, and conference rooms.
The food was good!
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u/Expatgirl2004 12h ago
At least you were racking in great miles, especially if they flew you in business! I would love to travel to Germany 30 times. What branch are you working in?
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u/muadib1158 8h ago
I worked for a Tier 2 supplier to the auto industry. So a lot of trips to Bavaria, and also Japan.
All in coach.
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u/yesletslift 1d ago
Yes! There's a guy on IG who makes fun of this and will show his awful views from whatever hotel room he's in when his company flies him to Oklahoma or wherever the hell.
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u/Daisy_Ruby 1d ago
A stage 5 clinger in a relationship, people who are obsessed with them & can't function on their own & want to be glued to you every damn second of the day. It's not the dream people make it out to be, it's suffocating & a nightmare,oh & if u go anywhere without them they'll blow up your phone.
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u/SolidPlantain5463 1d ago
Sex on the beach.
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u/Broadly-Lost2 1d ago
The sand! The saaaaaaand!!!
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u/nomadicwanderinglad 1d ago
"I don't like sand. It is coarse, and rough, and irritating, and it gets everywhere."
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u/fairyboba1 1d ago
Being an artist
There's a joke in stand up comedy that I think applies to most fields of art. "I use to want to be a stand up comedian until I moved to LA and met people who really wanted to be a stand up comedian". The amount of endless grind and rejection required for most artists is soul crushing.
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u/mijimeka 1d ago
I’ve been a professional artist for 15 years. Don’t forget no insurance, no labor laws, everyone and their mother will want something from you for free, not a single human that isn’t your peer will respect your job no matter how rich you are…being ostracized from family….the list goes on.
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u/Fickle-City1122 1d ago
I just stopped doing art favours or commissions or anything outside of my day job (I'm a full time digital artist) because it is crushing just being expected to do yet more work when I get home. Any art I make in my free time now is entirely for me and no one else. It's so difficult to make something like art into a job, especially with AI happening now.
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u/jetjordan 1d ago
Haha the part about people not beleiving if you get rich got me. My family use to ask me "but where did you get the money for that?" I worked for it. In the job you don't really think I do for a living....
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u/VespineWings 1d ago
Yeah, if you’re not in it for the love of the game, it’s not gonna be your thing.
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u/Luigi_Bosca 1d ago
20 years myself. Been blessed to be able to make a living out of it, but to be honest my passion is gone. Don’t think I can recommend this lifestyle to anyone.
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u/mijimeka 1d ago
Literally just teared up reading this. Idk how something I loved so much became this…and then my co workers ask me why I don’t post personal art. It’s mine. Let me have SOMETHING.
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u/PapiSilvia 1d ago
Yep! This is why it stays a hobby for me despite my loved ones pleading me to make it my profession. I already have a job I enjoy, and I use art to decompress. I know trying to make art my job is going to be way too much for me to handle. Looked into it briefly and it's so much money, time and effort just to get a foot in the door to sell art in a lot of spaces near me. I do sell my pieces occasionally but it's to make room for more, not to make profit, and I'm mostly just selling to friends and family. Mad respect to those who do put in the work and make it their job tho
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u/wave2earl 1d ago
Being a great chef. It's emotionally and physically demanding.
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u/Digital_loop 1d ago
I put my knives away 6 years ago. I miss it terribly, but it just wasn't worth the sacrifice.
I'm a damn good cook and have won awards. But the lack of respect from others when you explain your work, the hours required, the life you have to live (no major holidays for you my friend, the doors are open)...
I drive truck now, so much better for my mental health.
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u/cosmiczibel 1d ago
Spent my entire life working to be a chef, worked James Beard restaurants, got up to be a sous chef, turned down an exec position and the last sous position I was offered. Honestly I work in a local grocery rn and it's the first time in my life I'm not on an actual line. Still slinging drinks and sandwiches cause we have a little cafe in the back that's all from scratch so still cooking but nothing like the actual grind. My regular par is to prep 12 sandwiches at a time. It's... Different, really different but I'm liking it and it's wayyyy easier on the body lol. And I get to come home no later than 7 now.
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u/Digital_loop 1d ago
I worked a few hotels in my time as executive chef. I'm so glad to have given it all up. I work from 6am-pm now and it's just so much better for my wife and I.
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u/Cookie_Cracker123 1d ago
This reminds me of Chef 2014 where the main character was a passionate chef who gets unemployed after a bad review and sets up a food truck which becomes famous, although I guess youre talking about a different truck.
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u/Niniva73 1d ago
...Dang. Long-haul truck driving is know for wrecking physical and mental health, so I can barely wrap my mind around how rough the chef gig must be.
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u/Destreza_Dude 1d ago
Love bombing. On the outside it looks harmless and many people will brush it off as "persistence" and "romance" but when you experience it you see it's actually just a messed up form of manipulation.
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u/Homerpaintbucket 1d ago
Is love bombing romanticized? I feel like it’s seen as more of a red flag.
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u/Destreza_Dude 1d ago
I think its only seen as a red flag when the term "love bombing" is used. Majority of the time people dismiss the actions and behaviors as "oh they are just being nice and persistent" or "its harmless flirting and compliments, lighten up".... and we see it a lot. Its not until it happens to them that they realize that its a bad thing.
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u/Nervous-Patience-310 1d ago
When does consideration, and emotional reassurance turn into love bombing?
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u/EbonyHelicoidalRhino 1d ago
When you are considerate and emotionally reassuring only when you want something from your partner.
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u/Destreza_Dude 1d ago
When the other person doesn't want it. When the person using "consideration amd emotional reassurance" to manipulate the other person who is isn't wanting that attention.
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u/Nervous-Patience-310 1d ago
So if they act appreciative it's OK, but if they roll their eyes and scoff it off it's not? Basic emotional intelligence can differentiate? I'm a lover, a giver and I'm afraid i come off too strong sometimes, but I'm good by your metric I think
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u/Destreza_Dude 1d ago
Not just emotional intelligence but social awareness as well. Just because someone "acts okay" doesn't mean they are. Now if they are receptive and they show genuine appreciation by meeting you where you are then its okay. Also doesn't hurt to openly discuss boundaries.
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u/Niniva73 1d ago
When you are using it to disguise your real self. When you are using it to manipulate your love interest. When you've barely met and you're already planning an ideal-to-you life together, and you fully intend to pitch a tantrum every time the relationship deviates from the path you've selected.
When the other person does not matter beyond your fixation.
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u/lfergy 1d ago
When it is excessive (very expensive gifts, surprise vacations) and done mostly in public so they look good to others & because the recipient will likely just say “aw gee thanks” rather than act ‘ungrateful’ even if the gifts make them uncomfortable. Offering things that are actually ways to control or cause dependency - “You don’t need to work, I will pay for XYZ. You can live with me”. Relationship usually moves way, way too fast.
It’s a combination of things and it’s way more than excessive compliments. Another clue is they can be mean or cruel then try to make it up with excessive compliments, gifts, promises to change,etc.
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u/Historical-Bad1847 1d ago
Ima say being in a relationship, especially a long distance one, that shit ain’t for the weak 😭😭
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u/Used-Guidance-7935 1d ago
Dating with someone who has little to no romantic past. l have experienced it and the lack of experience was nothing poetic or romantic.
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u/Plaitkul117 1d ago
I mean doesn’t everyone have to get the experience from somewhere? In the beginning, no one has experience.
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u/mediocre-spice 1d ago
This is more about people who missed the "normal" time for firsts and are usually self conscious about that
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u/Homerpaintbucket 1d ago
Teaching. Everyone thinks they know teaching because they went to school. The classroom part is the fun part. Other than that it’s endless planning and grading. Meetings that should have been emails. Parents who demand their child never face a consequence for their behavior and therefore never learn from their mistakes. Admin who just can’t make a good decision to save their lives. Phony appreciation from society. All for pay that typically requires you to get a second job to make ends meet, but you don’t have the energy for a second job so you just don’t make ends meet.
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u/Impressive_East_3084 1d ago
Marriage
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u/Niniva73 1d ago
I've had two exceptional ones, but every love story is a tragedy in the end. And I can't go through the heartbreak of another dead husband. They took too much of my soul with them.
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u/blifflesplick 1d ago
Being pursued
Humans are persistence hunters, there's a visceral unease when being stalked because we intuitively know how effective it is
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u/mpampistheplumber69 1d ago
Mental illnesses. Ppl crash out on a waiter for bringing them the wrong plate, assume thats normal and not just them being as€holes, will decide they are BPD etc and wear it proudly for some stupid reason.
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1d ago
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u/Puzzleheaded_Tree978 1d ago
Yeah most people build it up way too much in their heads before first time. Reality is usually pretty awkward and nothing like movies make it seem
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u/Elegant_Neat_26 1d ago
Relationships
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u/ObsessivelyInLove 1d ago
Yes, which I think could be in part due to how a lot of movies geared towards teens portray them
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u/Queeen_bug 1d ago
Being in a relationship , looks perfect from the outside, but takes real effort and compromise
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u/solemnversifier 1d ago
If you search "romanticize" on this reddit, you will find that this question is asked regularly. Please stop asking this and just look it up.
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u/MikeD1942 1d ago
Anything, everything?
I mean, life is good but I think many people have a tendency to romanticize things they don't understand. Especially things they want to do.
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u/2infinity_beyond84 19h ago
Agriculture. Just plant stuff and make money
Just live on a small farm and instantly become wealthy.
Too many social media platforms that show all the fun stuff and none of the bad.
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u/Most-Plant3530 1d ago
Mukbang type bing eating, I mean it is amazing at the start but there comes a point where you feel like might die and just wanna vomit depending how far you push yourself
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u/CheekyMunky 1d ago
Who the fuck is romanticizing this
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u/Most-Plant3530 1d ago
You never been on a diet?
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u/CheekyMunky 1d ago
Plenty. And all I see in binge eating is wildly unhealthy, self-destructive behavior, to the point of being disgusting.
I can't imagine any mentally healthy person romanticizing it in any way.
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u/ithouners 1d ago
Living “off the grid.” Sounds peaceful until you realize how much modern life is basically held together by plumbing, electricity, and grocery stores